Voice At The Table

Meet Katie Driver, our resident expert on thoughtful leadership, introvert preferences, strengths, profiles and team effectiveness.

Formerly a Senior Civil Service leader, Katie now works across the private, public and charitable sectors in the UK and internationally. She is a certified business coach and Time To Think™ facilitator, a trained Action Learning practitioner and is qualified to use Strengths Profile and Lumina Spark psychometric tools. When not working, Katie can usually be found out running, as she firmly believes that exercise and fresh air are vital for us to do our best thinking.

Integrity is a key value for Katie in all that she does, both inside and outside work.

She said, “In practice, this means that I focus my work on clients who are genuinely trying to change themselves and their organisations for good. I only suggest tools and approaches to them that I’ve tried myself, or believe there’s good evidence for. And I aim to ensure that there’s consistency across what I do in my professional and personal life.”

Katie loves her work, but recognises that everyone needs to have time-out and take a break. If she could change the world, her mission would be to introduce a giant “pause” button which people could press occasionally to catch up on things or have some breathing space.

Not many people know this but, Katie cycled across the United States in 1990 as part of a small group raising money for a Multiple Sclerosis charity. She and her team took six weeks to go from Washington DC to San Francisco – cycling over 3,000 miles and crossing three mountain ranges.

He greatest indulgence is books. She said, “I have more books than I can possibly read in my lifetime and bought another this week (The Testaments by Margaret Atwood) – I guess you could say I’m addicted!”

When asked about her greatest achievement she humbly replied, “Still being here, with a wonderful family, great friends, work I really enjoy and lots still to learn.”

The holiday season is in full flow and many, particularly younger, women are making plans to hit the road on their own. As I was browsing some of my favourite publications, I came across an article highlighting the most dangerous countries for women to travel to on their own.  Wait, what? I had not considered travelling alone to be more dangerous to women than men, many of my friends’ teenage daughters, including my own nieces, embark on their adventures to explore the world, sometimes on their own (for at least part of the trip). A quick search online reveals a host of books encouraging women to travel alone, giving essential tips and inspiration. Rightly so! What could be more exhilarating, educational and empowering than learning to rely on yourself in the big wide world? What a great way to boost your confidence, too!

Yet, when I read that, statistically, the 3^rd most common cause of death for women between the ages of 20 to 24 in the US is homicide – and that the US is the only Western country to be listed in the top 20 of the most dangerous countries in the world for women to travel solo – I have to curb my enthusiasm for globe-trotting and adjust my expectations for the progress that we women appear to have made towards parity.

It isn’t all bad. If you are a free spirit who also cares about her safety, there are places to travel to that are safe for women and are scenic, culturally diverse and equally as adventurous. Top of the list, it appears, is Spain – safe on many levels and tolerant of women’s views and individual aspirations. Ireland also ranks very low on gender inequality and violence against women. But why am I surprised? Anecdotally, I have experienced this gentle respect for women in most of my interactions with people in and from Ireland and Spain.

Many of the countries that are welcoming of female solo travellers appear to be in Europe. What’s more, there are no Western European countries listed on the top 20 most dangerous country index for female solo travellers. Is this a coincidence?

Perhaps these indexes evidence bigger societal trends towards tolerance, inclusion and equality more broadly? When comparing the ‘most dangerous countries’ index to the list of countries in the world that are worst for women’s rights, only the US and India appear on both. In other words, there are other countries that might be top travel destinations for women – like Thailand, Brazil and Mexico and, of course, the USA – that seem welcoming and tolerant of women’s rights but in fact are not as welcoming to female solo tourists as they are to our male counterparts.

So, when you’re making your travel plans, it might be an idea to check the index and to at least make sure that, if you do intend to travel to one of those countries that’s purportedly more dangerous to female solo travellers than others, you travel with someone else. And do check out our Active Voice feature this month on Top Tips for travelling on your own as a woman.

Additional resources:

20 most dangerous place for women travellers

10 worst countries for women in the world in 2019

10 safest destinations for solo female travellers

If you’re planning a trip as a solo female traveller, here is a package of advice on how best to embark on your adventure and ensure a trouble-free journey:

1. Research your destination carefully before you leave:

What are the best neighbourhoods and the ones you should avoid? Are there only certain types of taxis you should take? Is there a medical centre or hospital nearby? When it comes to your lodging, how are its ratings for safety? What are former guests saying about their experiences? Are there any patterns emerging in the reviews you should be concerned about?

2. Don’t trust people too quickly:

When you’re traveling on your own, it can be tempting to join up and find a “tribe”. Sometimes these tribes turn into lifelong friendships, but not always. Some con-artists have mastered the art of befriending travellers, getting them to leave their valuables unattended, and robbing them before taking-off. If you’re just getting to know someone, don’t trust him or her to guard your expensive electronics while you’re in the bathroom.

It’s not rude to be cautious. Take things slowly, and if someone earns your trust, that’s when you can depend on them.

3.       Prepare for the worst with documents and secret cash:

In the event that the worst happens – your purse is stolen, your credit cards are frozen, you get sick and need to go to the hospital – it’s good to have a back-up plan.

For documents, keep front-and-back copies of your credit cards saved to cloud storage like Google Docs or Dropbox, as well as a copy of your passport. It’s a good idea to keep your bank and credit card phone numbers stored in a document as well.

Keep a back-up cash stash. Keep at least £50 in hidden in a secret spot deep inside your luggage, like inside a tampon or hidden in a sock. In a separate spot, keep a back-up credit card. If your purse or day bag is stolen and literally everything is taken away from you, this will provide you with a temporary financial cushion.

4. Buy a good travel insurance policy:

It could save your life. Whether your luggage is lost, you end up in a political coup or natural disaster, or you need to go to the hospital while on the road, travel insurance will reimburse your expenses. If you’re robbed, travel insurance will provide you with the security you need. Examine prospective travel insurance policies in depth, because they might not cover your personal situation. Many insurance plans won’t cover certain adventure sports or particular countries or regions. Most plans will only cover a fraction of the value of your electronics.

5. Spend extra money on staying safe:

If your flight is scheduled to land in a rough city late at night, you should opt for a guesthouse that will pick you up directly from the airport instead of taking a bus into town and trying to find a guesthouse on foot.

Pay extra to take a taxi home at night if you don’t feel comfortable walking through the neighbourhood on your own.

Paying more to stay in a central neighbourhood with lots of lively activity instead of a cheaper, quiet residential area where you feel isolated.

Choose the diving school with the best safety reputation and most positive TripAdvisor reviews instead of the one that will do it cheaper.

6. Keep in touch:

Choose at least one designated friend or family member to have a copy of your itinerary in advance: your flight numbers, your accommodation, and a general schedule of where you’ll be on which dates, as well as information on your travel insurance, credit cards, and a bank account number. Decide (before you go) how you’ll check in and how often, whether it’s through daily emails, texts, social media updates, or regular Skype chats. Make sure you keep a consistent schedule. Staying in touch will allay the fears of your loved ones, but if you find yourself in trouble, they could locate you more easily than if you had been vague about your whereabouts.

By Melissa Jackson

I have recently read an enlightening book – Invisible Women – a feminist Bible documenting the data information gap – the ramifications of which are that women are often forgotten about or misrepresented in society.

Caroline Criado Perez’s illuminating compendium is uncompromisingly candid in exposing gender bias that permeates every walk of life.

I could fill a year’s worth of columns with the subjects Perez tackles, but as we are hurtling towards September and the onset of a new school term, I thought it might be timely to home in on the importance of tackling gender stereotyping at an early age.

“Brilliance bias” is a concept, mooted by Perez, which favours boys and it starts in primary school. A US study found that boys and girls start school thinking that women could be “really really smart”, but within a year they start doubting their ability.

Her conclusion is that schools are teaching little girls that “brilliance doesn’t belong to them”.

This is reinforced by “draw a scientist” studies, where children are asked to sketch a picture depicting what they think a scientist looks like.

Perez asserts that when boys and girls start school, they draw roughly equal percentages of male and female scientists.

By the time they reach the age of seven or eight, male scientists significantly outnumber female scientists. By the age of 14, children are drawing four times as many male scientists as female equivalents.

Gender stereotypes are defined between the ages of five and seven; so how can we re-draw the balance?

Challenging gender stereotyping early is critical.

In an experiment three years ago at a co-educational UK junior school, teachers asked pupils (aged between five and seven) to draw a firefighter, a surgeon and a fighter pilot. The resultant innocently-honest pictorial offerings were predictably almost exclusively male – 61 male and five female – to be precise.

Immediately afterwards, the children were introduced to a real-life firefighter, a surgeon and a fighter pilot (all in uniform) – the surprise (etched in their perplexed faces) was that they were all female.

The short video, designed to market the experiment to a wider audience, went viral and clocked up 23 million views in three months.

Inspiring the Future, the charity that devised the experiment, is urging people to share with friends and colleagues and raise awareness of how much needs to be done to tackle gender stereotyping.

To make a difference volunteers can sign up at www.inspiringthefuture.org and pledge just one hour to chat to children about their career.

Richard Denney, from Mullen Lowe, which produced the film, said: “It’s our responsibility as working professionals, as well as educators, to encourage and inspire young minds that the majority of jobs and roles today are available for women, and not just men. These young minds are our future.”

Carefully chosen books can help to tackle stereotypes and as part of its Breaking the Mould project, the National Union of Teachers has put together a list of suitable texts for use both inside and outside the classroom.

We should challenge the dogma surrounding “male sports” and “female sports” from a young age. Why shouldn’t girls play football and cricket and boys play netball? They should be open to all in school, without prejudice.

Finally, be inspired by the formidable young education activist Malala Yousafzai’s rallying cry:

“I raise up my voice – not so I can shout, but so those without a voice can be heard…

We cannot succeed when half of us are held back.”

Last month I moderated three panels and presented a keynote in four different conferences and events. While each conference catered to a different market, the emerging theme was the state of diversity and inclusion today and tomorrow.

Since establishing Voice At The Table five years ago, I have observed a rising trend in events for women, events that talk about diversity and those that talk about inclusion. There has also been an increase in demand for these topics in conferences that do not focus strictly on people. It indicates the importance that society places on diversifying the way we run our businesses. This is also evidenced by the number of new positions that are being created and recruited for as diversity managers. So much so that we have added a new service to Voice At The Table (in collaboration with W2O Consulting & Training), offering training to D&I managers and consultants.

However, there is no one-size-fits-all solution and any truly impactful solutions take a long time to produce visible and lasting results. The good news is that there are glimpses of hope that emanate from industry sectors that are particularly resistant to culture change.

Let me summarise this hope in three trends that I observed in my stint of conference appearances:

1. Inclusive leadership is becoming a commonly used term of art that people understand and aspire to.
2. Diversity and Inclusion is becoming a genuine concern for companies and there appears to be a genuine understanding for its benefits to business beyond the fairness element.
3. Women are becoming more open to embracing men as part of the solution.

1. Inclusive Leadership

In our evening panel event hosted by Withers LLP in early June, it became apparent that senior leadership doesn’t just understand the need for change but knows what that change should look like. Those who are collaborative, humble, communicative and empathetic will lead the next generation of talent. These leaders must lead by example and train middle managers and teams in this evolving art of inclusion.

2. Diversity & Inclusion as a business imperative:

Two of the four conferences at which I spoke were industry events without a specific focus on diversity. So when I ran my panels, I was curious to find out how the audience perceived the importance of diversity for their businesses. I discovered that 70% of the audiences at both events considered diversity to be important for their organisations on business grounds and many of them already had started to address it internally. This may come as no surprise to most, but in my experience, there was a lot more talking about it than action, and this seems to be changing.   I continue to believe that most of the current initiatives are not sufficiently impactful to create lasting and meaningful change, but it’s certainly a positive development.

3. Women embracing men as allies

When I started out, there was a lot of interest in ‘women only’ networks, events and training programmes. At the time, it seemed like the right solution to the dearth of women at the top. In recent years, there has been a lot more talk about engaging men as champions for women and opening up networks to everyone. This sat uncomfortably with me because it signalled a ‘knight in shining armour’ and ‘damsel in distress’ approach to gender balance. But I was pleased to observe at the Women in Finance conference that there is now greater recognition of the fact that men and women nowadays mostly want the same thing and that the changes that inclusion and belonging offer will benefit both men and women to break out of the moulds that society has imposed on us for centuries. Therein lies the real solution to gender balance, I believe, so this is a trend to cling to and explore further.

The move towards recognition of women and minority groups as equal and capable peers lies in the acknowledgment that each one of us has a unique value to add that we have not learned to tap into. Focusing on how we can do that is our winning formula.

When women are faced with the prospect of raising their profile and gaining due recognition, it is important to own more of who we are and what we have to offer.  Here’s how:

1. Become a person of value

Recognise your own worth. If you want to work on a project, speak up. If you want to lead a team, tell someone. No-one will appreciate your contributions until you appreciate them yourself. Work to become known as someone who can be counted on.

2. Let your voice be heard.

Studies show that women are much less likely than men to speak up in meetings and when they do speak up, they apologise repeatedly and allow themselves to be interrupted.

If you don’t believe you have anything worth saying, how will others have confidence in you?

Recognise the value of your opinions and believe that what you have to share is worth listening to.

3.  Speak with confidence

If your communication style seems a bit weak, practise being assertive. That does not mean that you have to be aggressive. Simply drop the qualifying words and phrases when you speak – like “just”, “I feel” and “sort-of” – and others will see you as more authoritative and confident.

4. Learn how to handle conflict

Instead of engaging in conflict or avoiding it, learn to communicate forward by acknowledging the conflict and asking, “So how do we move beyond this?”. Don’t make or allow personal attacks, keep it professional. Don’t hold a grudge; once the conflict is over, shake hands, hold your head up high and return to work.

5. Take on a leadership role

You don’t have to have a leadership title to be considered a leader in your office.

Whatever your position, find a leadership role in which you can excel – whether it’s heading up a key initiative, solving problems, resolving conflict or calm decision-making in a crisis. Then push yourself to be the go-to person for those situations.

6. Find a sponsor

Look for sponsorship in your workplace by building strong relationships with your boss and other senior leaders. Pay particular attention to cultivating relationships with the individuals who believe in you and who publicly support you – they are going to be your best advocates and your greatest supporters.

By Melissa Jackson

Have you heard of the word “bropropriation”?

Well you learn something new every day, it seems, when you read the media reviews of the television and radio debates between the “wannabee” Tory candidates for the role of the UK’s next Prime Minister.

I am humbly admitting that I haven’t or hadn’t heard of bropropriation until I read a Telegraph review of a televised political debate chaired by the BBC’s formidable and hugely experienced Newsnight presenter – Emily Maitlis.

Ms Maitlis had the almost impossible job of calling order on the (then five) Alpha-male candidates who perched on their pedestals and pontificated about their “exceptional” credentials in the shameless pursuit of power.

They bleated like over-ambitious parents at a school sports day; squabbling and interrupting each other – in an unabashed bid to dominate the conversation and have the “vote-winning” last word.

Instead of lambasting their pugnacious and hubristic behaviour, social-media critics turned on Ms Maitlis for failing to “control” them. She was also rebuked for interrupting the over-zealously loquacious candidates.

But for all her relentless efforts, she found them unmanageable.

Telegraph columnist Claire Cohen said that many women who watched the debate, would recognise these “mansplaining” and “manterrupted” (also new words to me) behaviour traits, along with bropropriation – which, for the record, is when a woman says something, only for a man to repeat it moments later to widespread approval!

As one woman on Twitter commented afterwards: “Emily Maitlis saying ‘Can you hear me’ to Boris, as he talked over her, is basically any woman that’s been in a meeting full of men ever.”

Springing to her defence, Channel 4 presenter Cathy Newman said the candidates were “basically just ignoring the only woman present”.

Ms Maitlis was also stationed in such a way – stuck to one side of the panel – that she could not command a position of control.

Commenting on this in the Daily Telegraph, coach and Voice At The Table associate Katie Driver said: “If you’re at a table and leaning forward, you can use your physical presence more. You can put an arm out to create a barrier to someone speaking, or to bring someone else in. Emily was stuck behind a podium and although she did use her arms, she couldn’t engage in the same way.

A specialist in thoughtful leadership and introvert preferences,  Katie said that whenever she gives a talk or runs a workshop, she uses the floor-space to her advantage.

“It’s about owning the room,” she said.

“I never stay at the front, but I walk around – that establishes that it’s my space and that we’re going to work to my rules. It lets people know that I’m in charge.”

As we are tentatively on the subject of politics, MP Stella Creasy is trying to “take charge” of her maternity rights, which seem punitively restrictive.

Creasy is challenging the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (IPSA), which does not recognise any form of maternity leave and stated that it would not automatically provide extra support for constituency work after she gave birth. She had requested maternity cover, essentially a locum, for work conducted outside the Commons.

This comes as something of a surprise, knowing that IPSA’s chair is a woman.

Just a thought, but maybe the eminently capable Ms Maitlis could be persuaded to go into politics herself. She already has support.

Commenting on those involved in the TV debate, former Women’s Equality Party leader Sophie Walker, said: “If we have to have one of the people in this picture as our next Prime Minister can it be Emily Maitlis please?”

Melissa is a journalist by profession.

She cut her professional teeth on local newspapers, in London and then Norwich, before jumping ship to work as a broadcast journalist at the BBC. The majority of her career was spent at the BBC in East Anglia, which involved covering local stories for the nightly news magazine programme. She moved into news producing and presenting before heading to London to embrace the digital platform, BBC News Online, where she reported on the daily news agenda before specialising in Health and Education journalism.

During her career, she interviewed prime ministers Margaret Thatcher and John Major and a handful of celebrities, including the maverick chef Marco Pierre White, the fertility expert Professor Robert Winston and former Monty Python star Michael Palin.

As a child, Melissa learned to play the clarinet, then taught herself to play the flute and later, as an adult, the saxophone. As a teenager, she played the clarinet in a youth concert band and the pinnacle of their accomplishments was to perform at the Royal Festival Hall.

“I can still remember the thrill of playing the theme tune to Star Wars (it was the 1970s!) and hearing it reverberate around the auditorium, while my parents listened with pride,” she said, nostalgically.

She said that if there was one thing in the world she could change, it would be to eradicate aggression and violent crime. Too many lives have been lost recently to stabbings and shootings and as the mother of two teenage sons, she fears for their safety and those of other innocent young people.

Although she left Norwich more than 20 years ago, she has the “luxury” of owning a small place on the north Norfolk coast. It was handed down to her by her mother, who bought it when Melissa was about five years old.

She said: “As a child, it became our “go-to” holiday destination every school vacation.

“And now, history is repeating itself, as I regularly take my husband and two sons there. It is our bolthole – a place where no-one seems in a hurry and a great escape from the fast pace of London life.”

Aside from her journalism credentials, Melissa is also a qualified civil funeral celebrant and a professional Nordic Walking instructor and in her spare time enjoys tennis, yoga and going to the gym – to offset her passion for good food and wine.

Her new role is to edit the newsletter for Voice At The Table.

She said: “I have revived my love affair with writing in support of a great cause. What could be better than championing the ethos of promoting greater equality for women in every walk of life?”