What is your Superpower?

By Rina Goldenberg Lynch

Recently, we’ve been exploring whether those of us who don’t fit the company mould can still succeed by being themselves, including those who lead differently, like Gareth Southgate.

Today, I want to make the case for embracing what makes us different and knowing that – far from being ‘misfits’ – we actually have a ‘superpower’.

I take inspiration from a NY Times article written by one of the many women who found herself to be the ‘only’ woman – in fact the only black woman – in her team at work.   The article talks about the pro’s and con’s of being the only one, and gives us tips on how to make it less lonely.  It reminds us that each of us has something special to contribute and  to regard our team/organisation as lucky to have that contribution.

But I want to take it one step further.  I want to encourage you – if you feel different from the rest for whatever reason – gender, ethnicity, sexuality, height, cultural background, singledom, sense of humour… truly, whatever the reason – to own the characteristic that makes you feel that way and treat it like your superpower.

Think about it: some of the most well-known people – from Grace Jones to Ed Sheeran  to Rebel Wilson to Mr. T – have cultivated their ‘difference’ as a strength.  OK, these people are outliers.  In addition to their ‘difference’, they also have oodles of talent.  But that doesn’t change anything.

Can you think of someone you know who stands out in some way and yet, you hardly notice it because they are comfortable in their skin?  Instead of hiding whatever peculiarity they might have, they feed it with humour, ease and comfort.  Their distinguishing characteristic becomes part and parcel of who they are and lifts them above the rest.  I’ve seen it with people who are overweight, people who are much shorter than average, people who are not academic and heavily-accented people.   When you meet them, you might notice their distinguishing characteristic, but once you’ve had a conversation with them, you don’t see it any more.  They simply become a person who is funny or witty or interesting or popular.  You see them as someone who, instead of wearing their difference as a burden, wears it as a mark of distinction.  What many might consider an unfortunate feature has been turned into a badge of honour.

How does this work?
It’s simple, really.  When we bow to society’s pressure to conform, anything that sets us apart from the ‘norm’ makes us feel excluded.  So we quietly hide it (by wearing heels if we’re short or stooping down if we’re tall), or downplay it (by mumbling through a complicated sentence or omitting references to unfamiliar yet well-known authors) or we exaggerate our behaviour (by boasting about a successful friend or buying excessive rounds of drinks). Of course, people still notice what we’re trying to de-emphasise.

When, however, we bring our ‘oddity’ to the fore and treat it like it’s the most common feature on earth, what people see is our confident personality and us – not the very thing that’s different about us.  They perceive our peculiarity as our superpower – not because it is, but because we treat it like one.

Why is this important?
We live in a society that is rapidly evolving; one that needs the contribution of every individual – no matter how different.  We can contribute greatly to this evolution if we are comfortable with what makes us different.  Only then can we confidently talk about our authentic experiences and bring our whole selves to work.  Only then will our contribution form part of those creative solutions that every organisation desperately needs.  This is where the true benefit of Diversity is.

When I was young, one of my teachers told us that we must learn to love ourselves before anyone else can love us.  That continues to apply today:  if you respect yourself – warts and all – others will respect you in the same way.

And when that happens, the world can be your oyster indeed.

If you liked this article, you might also enjoy reading The Threat of Righteousness

Tackling The Pain of the Diversity & Inclusion Journey

Embarking on the journey towards greater diversity and inclusion can be a stressful experience.  To make this a more pleasant experience, let’s examine 3 potentially-painful trials on the D&I journey:

  1. Opening Pandora’s Box

One of the first things we often do with organisations is conduct our Inclusion Diagnostic – and audit of how inclusive the work culture of the organisation is.

In addition to providing a thorough understanding of people’s perception of inclusion, this exercise also uncovers sentiments that may not have readily shared before.  Colleagues tend to be forthcoming with scenarios and examples that, once voiced, cannot be ignored.

In this way, the exercise of listening is akin to opening Pandora’s Box:  once you’ve provided people the space to open up and agreed to listen, it is not possible to backtrack, even if what comes out is uncomfortable or even painful.

To prepare for the unexpected information and thereby minimise its potential shock, we explain in advance that the aim of the exercise is to find out what portion of the organisation doesn’t feel included and that is often a less pleasant reality to hear.    We also emphasize that this information is not designed to lay blame or judge – it is intended to help identify the type of action that will address the uncovered challenges and lead to greater Inclusion.

In the end, while the findings can make for uncomfortable reading, they allow an organisation to take specific action to address them and, in this way, attract respect and praise from those who shared.

  1. Unpredictable Impact

Many leaders worry that introducing D&I initiatives means promoting less capable individuals.  Although data shows that there is no reason to worry about this, it remains a pain point of the D&I journey for many leaders.  It is the dealing with something new and – in their view – untested in their organisations.

One way to minimise this worry is to do more research to find information that is persuasive and disarming.  That said, in my experience, unless it is data from peers, it is difficult to assure leadership that a similar result will apply to their organisation.

Another way to tackle this point is to consider ‘the lesser evil’.  I often ask the question: what will be the consequence of inaction?  This usually draws out scenarios that no leadership likes to contemplate.  Once the picture of inaction is thoroughly painted, the pain of not knowing whether D&I initiatives will in fact work – against evidence that they do – becomes less prominent.  A bit like those who are afraid to fly still do, knowing that the odds are indeed in their favour.

  1. No Boundaries

When talking about Inclusion, we advocate allowing people to bring their whole selves to work, allowing them to be who they are so they can feel that they belong.

When we talk about this, we often hear the concern that this kind of open-ended permission might invite unwelcomed views from those opposed to liberating voices.  This brings its own challenges for organisations.

One way to address this is the ‘Live and Let Live’ rule.  This rule is an agreement with colleagues that, while encouraged to be themselves, this liberty must not impose on another’s to do the same.  The point at which one’s freedom becomes another’s confinement is when the line is crossed.

Embarking on the Diversity journey can be challenging.  But there are ways to ease that pain – and working with a specialist consultant is one of them. Voice At The Table has expert consultants on hand to help and advise company leaders, with evidence-based case studies to draw upon and proven tools to ease the pain of the journey.

We will be talking about some of those tools and how they can help later in the month. In the meantime, let us know if we can help ease the pain of your D&I journey.

If you liked this post, you may also like Do larger organisation face a tougher D&I challenge?

Does your organisation hear everyone’s voice?

This month, we have been looking at the Business case for Diversity and Inclusion – how it benefits both a company’s bottom line and the people who work there.  We often talk about the Diversity Journey Roadmap, which stretches from those very few organisations that still don’t see any benefit at all from D&I, to those that are actively building a D&I foundation, or are even in the ultimate position of having established a genuinely inclusive culture that benefits from the full value of it diverse workforce! Voice At The Table exists to help companies move along this continuum to a place of genuine inclusion.

Wherever you think your organisation is on this journey, I hope you consider it to be a good place to work, that you like it there and you respect its values and practices.

I am quite sure, however, that there are ways in which it could improve. For instance, it could be more inclusive for more people –  be a place where everyone’s contribution is welcomed and valued, irrespective of their gender, ethnicity or background.

Without a doubt, there is already diversity within your organisation. But not everyone’s voice is heard or listened to.

You can improve your business performance and everyone’s job satisfaction, simply by hearing more from people who aren’t usually heard. When people feel included and valued, their levels of engagement and motivation rise and they more readily bring fresh ideas and innovation which boosts their sense of ownership of the business objectives.

Let’s look at one proven way to ensure all voices are welcomed and valued, particularly in meetings:

We know that 70% of contributions in meetings come from 25% of the participants.  One simple way to make meetings more inclusive is to introduce ‘Rounds’, where the chair asks a question of the group, a volunteer answers first and then everyone answers that same question in sequence around the table, going clockwise (or counter-clockwise) from the person who volunteered.  In this way, everyone’s voice is heard and people know when it’s their turn (and those who are slightly more nervous about the fact they have to speak eventually get used to it after participating in two or three Rounds).

I recommend starting a meeting with a Round to ensure everyone hears their voice out loud early – that makes it more likely that they speak again during the meeting.  Evidence shows that, the longer a person goes without speaking in a meeting, the less likely they are to speak up in that meeting at all, even when they have a contribution to make.

An Opening Round at the start of the meeting can be a point of ‘check-in’, a simple question about what went well for the team last week, or what each person’s super-power is, or what book or TV programme has got them currently gripped.  A friendly, non-threating Round also has the benefit of putting people at ease, opening their minds to improved thinking and contribution.

A recent article in the Financial Times entitled Women in Meetings Should be Heard as Well as Seen stated that “Efforts to diversify leadership teams and workforces are finally bearing fruit. To benefit, however, companies must ensure that people with different perspectives are heeded, respected and retained rather than just present, resented or ignored.”  This applies not only to women but also to every minority group you could name.

So, improving your workplace’s diversity and inclusion can be as simple as tapping into the existing diversity of your current people. To do that, I invite you to listen to everyone and really hear them.

If you liked this post, you may also like What’s the Verdict on Unconscious Bias?

Our Top Five New and Recurring Diversity and Inclusion Trends of 2021

2020 was an extraordinary year for Diversity and Inclusion and, thankfully perhaps, it is now over. We now have the advantage of looking back through the year to better understand what lessons we have learned and what will continue to evolve in 2021. Here’s my list of five new and continuing trends for Diversity and Inclusion this year:

  1. Diversity & Inclusion at the top of the corporate agenda

Last year was a wake-up call for many companies as the BLM movement highlighted the deep-rooted, latent biases that prevent Black people from progressing. Once recognised, many companies realised the only way to combat bias is with a more rigorous and responsible approach to Diversity and Inclusion. Some have responded by introducing company-wide initiatives that lay the responsibility of progress at the feet of both the leadership team as well as each individual staff member. Voice At The Table is involved in several such programmes and is delighted to, finally, be part of more impactful change.

  1. The Evolution of Language

Use of language has two sides: one is to ensure that the words we use in our communication do not betray ingrained biases and outdated beliefs; the other is giving people the words they need to express what it’s like to be on the receiving end of bias.

Outdated language: the surge to eradicate words from our vocabulary that betray racism, sexism and other “isms” started last year with the purge of terms like white and black lists, master and slave servers, master bedrooms and so on. Our language has evolved to include antiquated standards without us noticing – until now, it seems.  Many a business has been named and shamed for the use of callous terminology that alienates employees, customers and other stakeholders.

You might recall the H&M incident a couple of years ago.

 

Words to express bias: Until recently, people weren’t sure how to explain why D&I is good for business, how it feels to be on the receiving end of microaggressions and what indirect discrimination looks like. With increasing emphasis on Diversity and Equality-related subjects, stories are emerging that showcase discrimination in a way that others understand. “Systemic racism” and “white privilege” are now recognised terms. Companies and people are woke to terminology that captures and expresses conditions that, not so long ago, while rampant, were not visible to most. This change will afford people opportunities to better explain the latent unfairness they may be experiencing.

  1. Diversity in the Public Eye

Diversity isn’t just important to companies, it has become a topic du jour for society. More and more films, TV programmes, theatre productions, art exhibitions, sports events and written materials occupy themselves with the topic and reflect society in a more authentic and accurate manner. Think of Netflix’s Bridgerton and BBC’s Small Axe. Consider all-female football and rugby teams now being afforded more screen time. Think about art exhibitions celebrating Black female artists and articles dedicated to female artists. While still in its infancy, this is a growing trend.

  1. Working From Home

Both a blessing and a curse, working from home is most certainly here to stay. It has, unfortunately, been as much a villain – particularly for women – as it has been a saviour – giving many of us an opportunity to wrap our careers around the rest of our lives. While the pandemic keeps wreaking havoc, we will continue to make our homes also our offices.  What happens after is still a mystery, but I’d venture a solid guess that we won’t be returning to the office on a full-time basis.

  1. Women are back in focus

The 2020 pandemic hit women hard. They bore the greater burden of the job loss predicament, having to exchange their careers for home-schooling and caring duties. Companies in the UK were also given a reprieve from Gender Gap Reporting in 2020 – a retrograde step for our legislative progress[i].

As a result, the focus on hiring, retaining and supporting women in the work force has returned, particularly in the Tech sector. The good news is that, while we continue to applaud efforts made by companies to level the playing field, many women have taken matters into their own hands by highlighting the issues and fighting to regain lost ground. Like NASDAQ’s CEO Adena Friedman who is pushing for more Diversity in the Boardroom, as reported by the New York Times in December.

Here at Voice At The Table, we will continue to work with you on developing your D&I strategy, helping you assess the levels of Diversity and/or Inclusion in your organisation, and helping you implement impactful culture change initiatives that will ensure that your organisation garners the benefits of diversity both for the business and for each individual.

To find out how we can help you on your Diversity journey, please get in touch with me.

[i] It would be remiss of me not to mention the fact that women have also been let down by governments and society when it comes to protecting them from domestic abuse which always rears its ugly head during pandemics.

Active Voice: Poets’ Corner – Giving a Voice to our Creative Talents

We are departing from our traditional Active Voice “tips” this month to bring you a collection of thought-provoking and evocative poems, created by us – the good folk of Voice At The Table. We asked everyone on our core team to “get creative” and we’d like to “gift” our rhymes to you as a Christmas treat. Enjoy…

Twenty-twenty came to a halt!

Twenty-twenty had a big fault;

All the world’s brainiacs, brilliant women and men;

Scrambling for a vaccine so we can party again!

 

But life goes on and we are near the end

Of this peculiar year when facemask is a trend

Lockdowns, quarantines, two metres, even better

The days of 2020, we shall fondly remember… not!

By Alice Hutton

 

 

Make America great again, he said

I will build a great wall, he said

We need global warming, he said

Grab them by the p*ssy, he said

I’m smart, I don’t pay taxes, he said

I don’t need to wear a mask, he said

The election was rigged, he said

Go away Donald, you’re done, the world said

By Jane Ashley

 

 

Dancing Leaves

Where do the leaves go?

When the wind blows?

Dancing and playing,

Twisting and turning

Funnelling upwards,

Spinning and falling,

Whirling like dervishes,

A Tango, a Rumba,

Better than Strictly!

By Melissa Jackson

 

 

Disruption

Disruption has upped its game

Disruption has just gone full-time

Disruption is here to stay

What are you going to do about it?

You can’t discipline it

You can’t make it redundant

You certainly can’t furlough it!

You just have to deal with it

How do you deal with it?

You have to meander, like a river runs through it

You have to find a way

Disruption is here to stay

You have to sit with it

Entertain it

Pour it a nice cup of tea

Interact with it

Even do a Zoom, when it feels like doom and gloom!

Disruption is our new and unknown best friend

Go on, I dare you, open your arms and give it a big warm hug!

By Joyce Osei

A Dreamer am I

Roses are red

Violets are blue

We all have our colours

Your beauty is within you

We bow to tradition

Convention is King

But people are different –

That’s the value we bring

Imagine a world full of Lemmings at work

Imagine the monotonous drone of their quirk

Forget creativity, forget innovation

All of us slaves of our own limitation

But enter the prize of a more tolerant mind: a creature of wonder – one of a kind.

Emotion is stirred

Our pulse quickly rising

Our sense of vitality oh so surprising.

Diversity is the intrinsic value we bring

Our beautiful minds full of marvel and zing.

Be sure to invite it – just open your mind!

The eyes will then follow – leave all fear behind.

Your roses still red and the violets still blue

But you’ve taken a leap

Now your dreams will come true.

By Rina Goldenberg Lynch

 

 

Ahhh the ever-present voice of self-doubt

It sits in my brain, sucking the oxygen from the fire in my belly

“You can’t do this”, “no one cares”, “don’t bother”, it roars

And the fire, once raging, fuelled by an explosion of ideas

It dampens

Subdued by an impossible list

And yet the embers still glow

Persistent, impatient, encouraging

And so, I pause

Take a breath

Think

What is one thing I can do right now?

And I do it with no expectation of anything more.

By Jude Sclater

If you liked this post, try reading this one.

Our TABLE Has Five Legs

We’re living in exceptional times. Our world was already changing at a pace that was difficult to maintain, but since the onset of Covid19, traditional thinking and working has been uprooted and deposited as a new challenge. But this also presents us with an opportunity: an opportunity to test our resolve, our systems and processes. It is also a chance to discard convention that is inconsistent with the future direction of society’s travel and calibrate organisational culture with purpose.

Our new destination is to make companies more agile, reactive to societal changes, with a beacon of leadership that proposes a more inclusive future for all stakeholders.

I’m talking about evolving our organisations into TABLE organisations, reshaping relationships with customers, staff and other stakeholders.

A TABLE is one that exhibits the following characteristics: T – THINKING with reflection A – ACTING with purpose B – BEHAVING inclusively L – LOOKING diverse E – EXPRESSING EMOTION

T=Thinking With Reflection

A TABLE organisation is one that allows time for thinking and reflection. It has a culture that welcomes a coaching-style approach to leadership and encourages everyone involved to take individual responsibility for their actions. At the same time, it is led with the benefit of experience and reflection, as well as an appetite for thinking and learning. The Black Lives Matter movement, for instance, has given us an excellent opportunity to pause, reflect and institute impactful changes that address the persisting challenges around racism.

A=Acting with Purpose

In the words of Simon Sinek, a TABLE organisation starts with “why”. The “why” is the purpose.

A purpose that is specific to the particular organisation can act as a litmus test for all organisational activity, constantly asking the question: is this consistent with our purpose or are we straying away from it?

During lockdown, the overriding purpose of most companies has been to ensure both staff and customers are coping well, are connected to each other and are safe. With such a narrow focus and purpose, many leaders were surprised at how quickly they could set up channels of communication, how much empathy colleagues and bosses displayed, how dedicated and motivated everyone was and, in the end, how well everyone coped.

An organisation that unites behind a clear and stated purpose is better equipped to motivate and pull in the same direction. And that became crystal clear during the lockdown.

B=Behaving Inclusively

Most of us think of ourselves as being inclusive. And for the most part we are, so long as it doesn’t require much effort.  We encourage and support, we extend rules and policies and we welcome a few token individuals that make our circle more diverse.

But rarely are these efforts enough.

When I talk about “behaving inclusively”, I mean going the extra mile to understand what we don’t know or see and then another mile to develop new habits that allow us to better understand and cater to people from vastly different backgrounds.

L= Looking Diverse

Diversity is the reward for inclusion. An inclusive culture is able to attract, retain and promote a diverse population.

Diversity increases the level of creativity and innovation, begets new ideas and offers previously unnoticed experiences and opinions. It is the gateway to a more complete set of data.

The more diverse and inclusive an organisation, the more information it has to utilise for the fulfilment of its purpose. Lack of diversity at the top therefore, limits what we can achieve.

E= Expressing Emotion

An organisation that is in touch with its feelings, that is unafraid of expressing decisions and motivations in terms of emotions will be better equipped to attract the talent of tomorrow. Emotional and psychological safety is a large part of today’s and tomorrow’s well-oiled, well-functioning organisation. Creating and demonstrating safe space conversations that allow colleagues to express how they feel are valuable tools for leaders who want to attract bright talent. An organisation that speaks from the heart and the mind will be better equipped to deliver on its purpose for more of its stakeholders.

Does your organisation have 5 legs?

To find out which of the 5 legs of your TABLE organisation are more stable and which require more support, get in touch with me.

I am privileged. Are you?

It’s been a tough year.

We’ve had to confront both an indiscriminate killer in the form of a virus as well as discriminant ones, it seems, in the form of the American police force.

The killing of George Floyd (and many others like him) brought to the fore conversations that I hadn’t heard in a long time.  I was reminded that, just because we don’t see racism – speaking as a white, middle-class woman – it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.  The Black Lives Matter movement reminded us to think of those who are less privileged than us.

So I want to say a few words about privilege.

You see, I know about privilege – other people’s privilege.  Men’s privilege over women.  Yes, I have been in several conversations where the man conversing with me and my friend/husband/male colleague only acknowledged the other male in the conversation, not making any eye contact with me.  I’ve also been ogled, propositioned and humiliated by men for being a woman.  I have been passed up for promotions and have been criticised for doing what men do to get ahead because that’s not what women do.  I have frequently experienced the impediment of being of the wrong gender.  Yet none of that prepared me to see myself as privileged over others.

Don’t get me wrong, I get the privilege bestowed on the rich over the poor, the smart over the not so smart, the native speakers over accented narrators.  But during the conversations that started bubbling up as a result of the Black Lives Matter movement, I learned that I really didn’t understand privilege at all.  White privilege that is.

It’s true what they say.  Privilege is invisible to those who have it.  You just take everything for granted.  When you’re pretty and everyone smiles at you, you think everyone is nice.  When you’re straight and you unassumingly mention the opposite gender of a person you’re speaking to, you don’t see them squirming inside, trying to hide the fact that their partner is, in fact, of the same sex.  When you’re white in America, you see the police as your protector whereas as a black person, you might turn the corner to get away even though you’ve done nothing wrong. As a white person, you don’t see that.

Malcolm Gladwell made the point in his latest book Talking To Strangers that we all apply a double standard when it comes to understanding what’s happening to us and understanding what’s happening to others.  We think that when someone says something shocking about a black person, they are racist – not like us.  We would never do that.  And yet I know that, if I pushed my non-white friends, I’m sure they would tell me of instances when I said things to them that made them cringe inside.  They spared me the embarrassment; they knew I didn’t mean it.

In a recent roundtable discussion that I moderated, one of the speakers made the point that it is up to each one of us to educate ourselves on what type of behaviour or language might amount to a microaggression.  It should not be up to the person experiencing the blow to educate us.  So I picked up that call to action.

Enough with the blind spots.  Let’s acknowledge the facts: men have it easier in life than women; white people have it easier in life than non-whites; heterosexuals have a smoother ride than LGBTQ+ and so on and so on.  Let’s acknowledge it and agree to educate ourselves.  Let’s stop and think before we speak.  Let’s not begrudge people opportunities where none existed for centuries.

Our eyes may not be opened instantly, but we can try to see what previously escaped us if we keep trying.

Will you try?

For a great explanation of White Privilege, watch John Amaechi’s Bitesize on BBC.

Mind Your Language!

A few years ago, Voice At The Table had a popular workshop, talking to senior leaders about the significance of using the right words. And then its popularity waned. Now, it seems, the notion that words matter is back: businesses everywhere are dropping old-fashioned terminology like “blacklist” and “master and slave” servers.

Last week, Twitter and JP Morgan announced that they are dropping these controversial terms as well as “whitelist” and “man hours” along with other offenders.  Estate agents are also reconsidering the use of the term “master” bedroom.

And what about this “mis-step” by H&M?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Words have a massive impact. We often use them without thinking and without intent to offend.  But a simple reflection on some of the words and phrases we regularly use discloses their historical meaning, which is no longer reflective of society:  businessman, chairman, black sheep, guys, lads, psycho, schizo, “call a spade a spade”, “boys will be boys”, blind drunk, deaf to the world and many more.

You’re probably surprised about a number of these (as was I), but there are the very basic terms which ought to be obvious.  For instance, only days ago, I received an email – an FT newsflash – that announced the stepping down of Lloyds Bank’s current chairman – Antonio Horta-Osorio.  His replacement – the next chairMAN – was yet to be named! Does this mean a woman is not a possible contender for the job?

These are shocking mistakes that should not be made these days, especially by organisations that are looking for our trust and loyalty.

Many of us don’t think twice when using these well-trodden words, as they have established meanings that don’t mean to exclude.  In the end, however, communication is less about how you say things and more about how what’s being said is heard.  That’s why the Use of Language is one of our eight Inclusive Behaviours.

When expressing yourself, instead of saying things like a “female engineer” or a “blind man”, say “a woman on our engineering team” or “a man who is blind”.

Avoid the use of jargon – which is easily caught up in non-inclusive history – and above all, avoid labels.  Labels overgeneralise and lump all of us together into one pot, which is most certainly too small to comfortably fit the myriad of shapes, sizes and colours of humanity.  Oh, oops, have I just done what I’m asking others not to do?  Well, I don’t know.

My main point is, we ought to try, and be more conscious of our words.  If we do just that alone, we will be far less likely to mis-step.