Three common biases women encounter at work

A father and son are in a horrible car crash that kills the dad.  The son is rushed to the hospital; just as he’s about to go under the knife, the surgeon says:   “I can’t operate—that boy is my son!” How is this possible?

If you haven’t figured out that the surgeon is the boy’s mother, then I made my point: unconscious bias is everywhere – whether you’re a man or a woman!  But don’t kick yourself for it – you’re hardly alone.

As we’re approaching IWD, I want to share some of the most common biases women encounter at work.  Let me know if any of these sound familiar:

  1. All she needs is more confidence.

Call it confidence, call it Gravitas, or any other strong, extroverted, Presence-based characteristic.  The lack of these attributes often stop women from progressing.    The more heavily-influenced a company (or part of it) is by male presence, the more likely it is for women to be considered less capable if they don’t command a room or a meeting.

This is of course a fallacy.  In many cases, women appear less confident only in scenarios when they are the minority, i.e. in male-dominated groups.  We all feel a level of discomfort (even if we rarely acknowledge it) operating in an environment that is less familiar.  Many men admit to this feeling when they enter a room full of women – or find themselves at the school gate with a group of mums.  All of a sudden, our confidence appears to ebb.

But competence doesn’t.  A competent person remains competent in both scenarios, even if it may not seem that way.  In fact, rarely are competence and confidence correlated.  And if we believe this, then why do we pay so much attention to a person’s confidence?

In other words, she doesn’t need more confidence; she needs more acceptance and appreciation of her competence.

  1. We always hire the best candidate, regardless of background

If only that were the case!  We want to believe that’s what we do but the data shows otherwise.  It shows that we’re slaves to our unconscious affinity – or ingroup – bias.

We may not be aware of it, but a person who is more like us will come across more capable, credible, trustworthy and likeable than a person who isn’t.  We actively solicit, pay attention to and favour the contributions of ‘ingroup’ members.  This also means that we are much more likely to overlook, overhear or disregard the strengths of a person who is different from us.

When that happens, we also do this: we justify to ourselves why the person we really like is also more capable, and therefore, the better candidate.

Yes, we all do this.

Truth be told, there is no such thing as true meritocracy.  All our decisions have a strong influence of bias – in this example, affinity  (or ingroup) bias.

So next time you prefer one candidate to another, and that preferred candidate happens to be more like you than the other, put your preference to the test:  scrutinise it like someone who is advocating for greater diversity.  Is the ingroup candidate really the better candidate or might your view be influenced by something other than objective criteria?

  1. ‘Great work, Rachel!’   ‘Thanks, but I’m Susan.’

It is both astonishing and embarrassing to reflect on the number of times women have told me how their names are mixed up with other women.

Think about it:  there are 2 women in a meeting of 8 and the men struggle to keep them apart.  What does it say about the value they assign to these women?  How much regard do they hold for them?  If they cannot remember who  is who, how likely are these women to be taken seriously?

Of course, this isn’t a malicious thing.  We know that.  But, gentlemen, next time you confuse two women, think about what this means and how you think of them at work.  Think also about the last time you confused two men who are like you.  Surprised you can’t think of an incident like that?

Ladies, if this happens to you, I encourage you to (politely) correct the situation.  That ought to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

As we go into a day/week/month of celebrating the many wonderful women around us, let’s remember these commonly-perpetrated microaggressions, let’s identify them, talk about them, and find ways to challenge them.  We do this not only to respect our fellow female colleagues, but to improve everyone’s wellbeing and performance at work.  And isn’t that a worthwhile endeavour? #ChooseToChallenge

If you liked this post, you might also like In the Wake of IWD – What are we really saying?

Masterclass: How to be more assertive (and say ‘No!’)

DESCRIPTION:

Many of us struggle to maintain control of our time and our workload. Some of us find it challenging to manage other people. Being unable to say “no” to colleagues (senior and junior), or experiencing difficulties in guiding/directing people can hold us back and make our working environment unfulfilling and even unpleasant.

In this highly practical workshop, Jayne Constantinis, our communication skills expert will help you to develop skills for effective and assertive communication. Focusing on mindset, content and ‘performance’, you will learn to take control of difficult situations and manage challenging conversations with greater confidence.

DURING THE WORKSHOP YOU WILL:

  • Identify unhelpful patterns of communication
  • Eliminate habits which undermine your credibility
  • Learn to grow confidence through meticulous preparation
  • Develop stronger persuasion and negotiation techniques
  • Acquire more powerful non-verbal communication tools, especially eye contact and posture
  • Learn to plan and structure content to be able to resonate with your audience
  • Learn to use impactful language
  • Become more comfortable dealing with verbal conflict and learn to field difficult questions
  • Role play a variety of different scenarios (tailored to your needs) to establish new behaviours and practice new techniques.

BY THE END OF THE WORKSHOP YOU WILL:

  • Understand the fundamental principles of assertive communication
  • Recognize your own strengths and weaknesses
  • Have a clear strategy, backed up with practical tools and techniques, for becoming more assertive
  • Know what it feels like to be in control in challenging situations
  • Be more confident.

THIS WORKSHOP IS FOR YOU IF:

  • You currently have some leadership responsibility or will do so in the future
  • You struggle to communicate assertively and often fail to achieve your desired outcomes
  • You want to feel more confident in your ability to persuade, negotiate and delegate
  • You would like to be able to ‘push back’ and say “no”
  •  You want to enhance your work/life balance.

YOUR TRAINER: JAYNE CONSTANTINIS

Jayne Constantinis_COLOUR_146

Women of Influence – it’s all about confidence!

sunflowers

Today I read an article in the paper that reaffirms what I’ve believed all along:  women are struggling to achieve their career ambitions.  Many familiar reasons are cited for this:  lack of confidence in going for promotions; lack of support for women in the workplace (such as the ability to work flexibly) and, in this particular survey, 20% of women said they felt discriminated against by their male colleagues.

So what will it take to change to world of work for women?  We already see a number of high profile women leaders in the world of finance, sovereigns and corporates.  We also hear the benefits of female decision makers readily and frequently discussed.  Diversity and Inclusion are no longer stigmatised terms but, frequently, a vital  part of corporate strategy!  So what is keeping us back and what can we do about it?

If you ask me, it is mostly about confidence and having the guts to go for it!

I know many women who have accomplished stellar achievements and have easily outperformed their male colleagues.  Yes, these women are smart, but more than anything, they’re gutsy.  They want something and they go for it.  They’re not discouraged by setbacks, nor do they listen to the niggling voices in their heads that might say they’re not ready or good enough.  They believe in themselves – rightly or wrongly – and they achieve!

And I want to say something about believing in yourself.  In my experience, it doesn’t matter whether you’re fully justified in believing that you can accomplish something.  You just need to believe that you can!  I might add that this works perfectly well for our male counterparts.  They never question their own abilities to perform – they just know they can, despite the fact that it is not always the case, as many failed projects have proven.

So back to these high achieving women.  These women are lucky to have been given a healthy dose of confidence as part of their upbringing, but one thing is certain:  all of us can get there if we put our minds to it.

Let me give you an example:  When I had my first child, it became very important to me to be home from work before bedtime.  That meant that I couldn’t stay even 30 minutes late at work without sacrificing the bedtime routine.  And during a very busy period at work, when I was frequently later than anticipated, I started resenting my job.  When that happened, I decided to take a risky step and ask for the possibility to work from home once a week on a regular basis (that way knowing that at least one morning and one evening I was guaranteed to be there for my child).  At that point, no-one in my team worked from home and I knew that my boss was predisposed against it.  But when push came to shove, and the alternative before him was to either lose me or give in to my request, he yielded.  Now, I’m pleased to say, every member of my team has the right to work from home on a regular basis, and business is booming!

The point is, when we’re pushed and feel that we have no other choice, we take the difficult and risky steps and…often get rewarded!  So why wouldn’t it also be the case if we applied this kind of drive to other career goals, without the need to be pushed to the limit first?

I say go for it and give it a try!

Explore the Voice At The Table Video Library!

Flexible, affordable, pre-recorded virtual development sessions available through individual or corporate membership