Make Your Own Luck! Conference

Highlights from our Make Your Own Luck! Conference by Amanda Cullen*

Make Your Own Luck! ConferenceOn 11 June 2015, Voice At The Table hosted its first flagship event, the Make Your Own Luck! conference for professional women.  With 20 speakers and some 100 delegates, the day was marked by great content, fantastic engagement and an enviable buzz.

Over the next few months we will be sharing with you some of the highlights from the speaker and panelist sessions, so watch this space!  In the meantime, here is a quick overview.

Who was there?

The majority of our delegates were aged between 31 and 50 – with a light (and nonetheless welcome!) sprinkling of younger and older representatives. Many came from the legal profession or from financial services but a number of other sectors were also represented, most notably HR, FMCG and Consulting.

What were they seeking?

In our pre-conference survey we invited delegates to identify what they wanted to hear about, and over half of them took the opportunity to do so. Some key themes emerged:

  • How women can turn their gender into an advantage instead of a disadvantage in progressing their career
  • How to identify and maximise our strengths
  • How to develop key skills such as building relationships, presenting, influencing
  • A desire for practical examples and case studies from the speakers on how they had achieved success in their chosen career

What did the day contain?

Five keynote speakers – Helena Morrissey, Marianne Abib-Pech, Suzanne Doyle Morris, Eilidh Milnes and Jayne Constantinis – each addressed an aspect of how to progress our careers, ranging from taking ownership and responsibility in order to “make our own luck” rather than hoping that luck will find us, to developing our confidence and learning how to speak and present effectively.

In addition there were four panellist sessions, where a range of experienced professionals from diverse industries shared their own experiences and insights on key topics such as taking the initiative, getting our voices heard, building relationships and the role of culture in organisations in realising women’s talent and potential.

There was a fabulous buzz throughout the day, with delegates taking the opportunity to meet each other, practice their networking skills via an entertaining bingo game and exchange views on what they had learned.

What did the delegates say afterwards?

The vast majority of delegates kindly completed a quick survey at the end of the day and all of them said they would recommend the event to others, with an overwhelming 98% saying it had been excellent.

Some of the comments that the Voice At The Table team will treasure include:

“I do feel this is the first day of the rest of my career”

“I think there is a real gap in the market for events like this which connects women across industries and points in their career.”

“Thoroughly enjoyable day, distinguished by a friendlier and more supportive vibe than other events.”

“Liked the way the conference made you think. It approached the topic from many different angles that help stimulate thinking and respected the high level of intelligence in the audience.”

What’s next?

 

Look out for the next in our series of posts that will focus on some of the learnings from our keynote speakers and panels. And if you’d like to benefit from more support from Voice At The Table, why not take a look at our Training Academy, where we run a wide range of workshops, all aimed at helping you to develop the skills to progress your career. Or you can join our newsletter.

 

Voice At The Table helps build the company of the future through gender diversity.  We do this by supporting women in carving their own path to success.  We focus on building confidence, resilience, and initiative.  Follow us on Twitter at @VoiceAtTheTable and let us know what you think about our services and offering.  Your feedback makes us better.

A View from the Other Side: The first in a series of comments from a man…by Peter Hale *

skeptical manDo men connect with the things that women hold as self-evident? When I ask my fellow educated, professional male colleagues whether they would like to see more women in senior positions, they mainly answer yes. Good news for women? Well, actually, maybe not. Because, somehow, they cannot, do not, or are not willing to articulate why.

Women, on the other hand, if asked why, can confidently give a long list of benefits – greater diversity of thought, wider vision, better balance – and my associate Rina from Voice at the Table will also send you detailed studies from McKinsey about the economic benefits of a more diverse workforce.

From a male perspective, it may not be so self-evident. If our brave male has grasped only a superficial list of benefits it can be positively disastrous. Suppose his senor male asks him “what are the benefits?”.  Our champion of women can refer to those studies. What do many of those speak of the benefits of diversity as? Leading to “challenge”, “internal debate” and even “dissent”, that’s what.

So, into the mind of the sceptical senior male come all sorts of worries –call them threats, call them concerns. So, if the man asking him to change is not himself convincing, it’s easy for the senior person to say that the case isn’t made.

Women have lots of male allies out there. Men, however, need to have the case put to them in terms they can use with confidence. Saying the case is self-evident will not be enough.

I’ll be expanding on some of these points in the next blog or two…

*Peter Hale is an associate with Voice At The Table.  Read more about Peter here.

 

Looking like men is not the way to success – phew! By Joanna Gaudoin*

WICE winners

It’s a regular topic of conversation in the media and at my events and workshops too, particularly those which are a female audience only – how to stand out appropriately and avoid criticism in a male dominated work environment of which there are still many.

Just on Saturday, there was a debate in one of my workshops about women wearing pale pink to an important meeting. It’s amazing the seemingly simple decisions that generate not only debate but which can have a huge impact on how we are perceived as women.

With a third of the cabinet now female and the work place balance having changed over recent years, work environments are no longer the male focused zones they once were.

Many women feel criticised in the workplace and much of this seems to be at the ‘shallow’ level of their appearance.

A tempting response is to try to mirror men, ok seeing a woman in a tie is a rare thing but grey suits and conservative clothing, lacking in colour can been seen as the answer.  Not at the WICE (Women in Construction & Engineering ) Awards it would seem.

Business colleagues of mine went to this awards dinner the other week, I was delighted to hear of the glamour and elegance of the award winners, totally breaking the stereotype of women in the building and engineering industries. These ladies had well and truly ditched any trace of hard hats and overalls and embraced their personalities and femininity. No hint of blending in, a fabulous variety of outfits with not a hint of a uniform.

The pressure to be taken seriously as a woman is constant, there are 3 key themes that I hear frequently and would like to address.

“Should I cut my hair?” I think the starting point for this question is that most men have short hair so women feel this make them stand out and look too ‘girly’. In my view shorter hair can make you look more dynamic. There are 2 very important considerations though. If you feel most yourself with long hair then that is what you should have, all of us perform to the best of our abilities when we feel like ourselves.   However, what you do need to avoid with long hair is it being a distraction, anything that is a distraction, whether male or female is a negative. In professional life, you want people to focus on what you are saying. Therefore, especially if you have a tendency to flick your hair or fiddle with it then make sure it is out of reach!

“Black and white gets me heard and taken seriously.” Absolutely, black and white communicates authority – it is the most ‘extreme’ combination of dark and light tones. However, if they don’t suit your personal colouring, they will draw attention away from your face. It’s about finding your version of ‘authoritative’ if your industry allows – mine is navy and off-white. Still striking and authoritative but draws people more towards my face which is where I want the focus as it’s my communication centre.

“I avoid ‘colour’. Men criticise it and get ‘scared’ by red.” There is a point to make that as the number of women increase in the work place, if they embrace ‘colour’ then this will become the new ‘normal’ even in the more ‘’serious’ and currently male dominated sectors. However, small steps are the way forward. Firstly, to know which colour tones, such as the specific type of red, suit you is important, think back to the face focus already mentioned. Secondly, it doesn’t have to be wearing a dress in a ‘colour’. You can start small and introduce colour through accessories – a scarf, necklace, shoes, even a handbag to build up slowly.

Being a woman is a wonderful thing, we have skills that are highly valuable in the work place, some that are different but some that are the same as men. It doesn’t mean we should try to look more masculine to achieve. The important thing is to dress appropriately for your role and your day ahead and feel like you so you perform to the best of your ability.

So how can you start to feel more like you in how you dress for work? If you’d like to look at this in more depth and boost your confidence, Joanna will be running a Masterclass on ‘The Importance of Image & Impact for Professional Success & How To Increase Your Influence’ on 26th June. Click here to learn more and book. Early bird runs out on 12th June.

* Joanna Gaudoin is a personal and corporate image expert, passionate about helping women look and feel confident. Joanna is an associate of Voice At the Table. Read more about Joanna here.

 

How to handle and neutralise difficult colleagues (professionally, of course) by Amanda Cullen*

Profile portrait navy smiling fullsize“The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is the knack of getting along with people”.  – Theodore Roosevelt

According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), being respected and appreciated by others is one of the most fundamental human needs.

Recent research in occupational health psychology shows that many stressful experiences are linked to social conflict.  As the WHO states, being treated in an unfair manner can be an “Offence to Self”, and this may have far reaching consequences in terms of health and well-being.”

Working with others on a daily basis can be very trying – especially if they are difficult people. FrustrationNodding? Thinking of someone specific? Read on…

What do you do when a colleague is difficult?

It’s very rare to find a job where you work completely alone at all times. Indeed, many of us work with a great number of people on a weekly basis.   You may be lucky – in a team or company where most people are collegiate and pleasant.  But how do you react when a colleague is repeatedly awkward?

In my view, depending on your personality, work history and values, you may do one (or more) of the following:

  • Avoid them (tricky, if you’re meant to be working together)
  • Ignore the difficult behaviour and pretend everything’s fine
  • Get upset and take it personally
  • Argue with them
  • Shout at them
  • Talk about them behind their backs
  • Rant about them when you get home to your family

I’m sure you’d agree that none of these options are acceptable in the long run.

But what if there was a way to understand where the difficult person is coming from, to diffuse the situation and to give them some constructive feedback? Here’s how you can do just that:

1.       Identify why the difficult person is behaving in this way

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” – Dale Carnegie

When you experience unpleasant behaviour, it’s normal to react instantly and instinctively.  This is often not effective, and can be quite destructive. But can you step back and identify what lies behind the difficult person’s outburst?

Unpleasant behaviour typically falls into one of four camps. Next time you come across it, imagine you are standing outside the interaction and watch or listen to what’s going on. Pretend you are hearing the conversation on the radio, or you are observing it as a “fly on the wall” and try to uncover what kind of behaviour you are seeing or hearing.

Is it BLAME?  Typical examples of this would be aggression, bullying, or excessive criticism.

Is it CONTEMPT? You might experience this as disrespect, being “talked down to”, or being undermined.

Is it OBSTRUCTION? This often presents as avoidance, passivity, disengagement.

Is it DEFENSIVENESS? Here you may encounter excuses, deflection, and resistance to feedback.

2.      Assess your role in this situation

“A simple rule in dealing with those who are hard to get along with is to remember that this person is striving to assert his superiority; and you must deal with him from that point of view.” – Alfred Adler

Once you identify if you’re dealing with blame, contempt, obstruction or defensiveness it’s time to get curious.  Can you understand where the individual is coming from? What has triggered their behaviour? Is there something that you are doing that exacerbates the situation and makes their behaviour worse?

3.      Take action to counteract their behaviour

“I have a respect for manners as such, they are a way of dealing with people you don’t agree with or like.” – Margaret Mead

Once you’ve worked out the type of unpleasant behaviour you’re dealing with, and if there’s anything you are doing to exacerbate it, there are a number of things you can do to calm the situation.  Here are my top tips to neutralise difficult people at work:

  •  If you encounter blame, use your curiosity to probe what’s really going on. Try to stay calm and pretend you are impartial. Set out what you would like them to do differently, rather than focusing on the negative behaviour, otherwise you risk being sucked into a mutual blame game.
  • If you experience contempt, stay polite. Don’t match contempt with contempt; instead role model the behaviour you want to see. Be respectful yet firm. Identify the unacceptable behaviour and tell your colleague how it affects you and others around them, and then tell them what you’d like them to do differently in future.
  • If obstruction is present it’s easy to get riled by a lack of communication. It may help to recognise that the awkward or silent person has just as valid a role as a noisier colleague. What are they trying to tell you about how your relationship with them or their relationship with the team is working?  Once you’ve explored this as much as you can on your own, share with them the impact they have on you and others, and invite them to comment on your observation of the possible reasons for their actions.
  • When you see defensiveness, it can be useful to look for the grain of truth in their argument. What is there about their position that could possibly be true? If you can step into their shoes and acknowledge they may have a point it can help to shift your own perspective, and certainly help to see them as less of an irritant! And you may be surprised by the impact that your mind shift has on your relationship with them.

So next time you’re in a difficult situation – with a colleague, a client- or even a family member, give it a try.

*  Amanda Cullen is an executive coach, specialising in helping leaders to step up to their full potential. Amanda is an associate of Voice At the Table. Read more about Amanda here.

Confidence To Get You Caught In The Cycle Of Success by Joanna Gaudoin*

Joanna GaudoinThere is much said about female confidence and how it lags behind that of our male counterparts. The adage that a man will go for a promotion if he’s feels 60% ready for it, women wait until they are 110% there. Just think how this lack of confidence is holding thousands of women back. Thousands of women that could be contributing their valuable skills and abilities to numerous roles…

There are many factors that contribute to personal confidence. A popular phrase at this point in time is ‘fake it til you make it’ and there is some sense in this.

Helping women be confident in their personal image is one of my specialisms. When they are it helps to propel them into the ‘cycle of success’.

cycle of success

Work your way round the cycle, imagine how you feel when you know you look and feel good – wearing your favourite dress to an important meeting, putting on those new shoes for the first time, being confident about how you greet someone at a networking event. You feel better about yourself don’t you? When you feel better about yourself this confidence shows outwardly and people tend to respond to you better. All of us need relationships and positive relationships reinforce positive feelings and help you to perform better.

So what really makes the difference to a positive personal image?  Here is some food for thought.

  1. Appearance
  • What works for you – what clothing and accessories do you feel like you in? This is so important. Being appropriate for the environment is as well but if you don’t feel like you then you won’t perform to the best of your ability.
  • What flatters you – all women have things about themselves they are less keen on. Knowing what suits you best, not just in terms of colour tones to lift your features but the right cuts, shapes and illusions to flatter your physical self.
  • Being polished – you can be wearing your most expensive suit but if you feel a mess whether that be in terms of hair, make-up, shoes or anything else, you won’t feel good. Attention to detail is really important.
  1. Body language
  • Eye contact – how confident do you feel looking people in the eye? Many people feel awkward but being able to do this with confidence is key to your personal impact and building rapport.
  • Mannerisms – do you have anything you do when you are nervous? It’s worth considering this as it may be a distraction to others from what you are saying, which is where you want the focus to be.
  • Greeting – you would be surprised how many senior women have a weak handshake. When that is what you offer someone, it will be on their mind for a few minutes afterwards, leaving not only a negative impression but again a distraction from relationship building and listening.
  1. Voice
  • Introducing yourself – is your introduction clear and strong? You want people to remember who you are and form a positive impression from your tone. Neither of these will happen with a weak and mumbled introduction.
  • Clarity – are your sentences full on ‘umms’ and filler phrases such as ‘to be honest with you’. Clear communication is really important to engage positively with others.
  • Positive language – people respond better when situations are explained in positive language, think of someone asking you to do something, you are likely to respond better to “remember to…” rather than “don’t forget to…”.

So as this International Women’s day approaches, why not spend some time thinking about what you could improve about your personal image and impact; to boost your confidence and put you firmly in the ‘cycle of success’.

* Joanna Gaudoin is a personal and corporate image expert, passionate about helping women look and feel confident. Joanna is an associate of Voice At the Table. Read more about Joanna here.