Speaking Out As An Ally

By Sara Bell and Phil Cox

Ever wonder what it takes to speak up as an ally? Voice At The Table D&I consultants Sara Bell and Phil Cox sat down together to explore what it really means to be an ally at work today. Their conversation brought out some interesting insights and practical tips for us all on how to improve our allyship.

Phil: So… I like to think that I’m a nice person… I go out of my way to not consciously hurt anyone’s feelings, and I try to be kind to people I work with. What’s the difference between that and being an “ally”?

Sara: I love that you deliberately try to be kind; we need more of that in the world. To understand what it means to be an ally, we need to look at what we are an ally of. The workplace can be an uneven playing field, with obstacles disproportionately affecting marginalised groups of people: for example, the “prove it again” bias that can delay promotion for women and even more so for black or Asian women. If you know about these universal challenges and actively look out for them, then you can make a choice to dismantle the obstacles. In this example, being an ally could involve you speaking up to highlight the different standards and point to a black woman’s track record of success. Being an ally is also about recognising that you, for example, as a white educated man, might have some privilege, and in positions where you may have some power or authority, deliberately using that to bring about change.

Phil: I get that people with privilege can help to dismantle some of the obstacles that you’ve described.  But presumably they need to be in a position of some organisational power to do that?  If I’m going to make a promotion process fairer, for example, don’t I need to be responsible for that process?  But what if I don’t hold that sort of power in the organisation? What if I’m just another worker bee? How can I help? And is “helping” even the right word? I’m worried that sounds condescending.

Sara: You can definitely help, and it might be useful to think of it more as helping dismantle an unfair system rather than a person; doing it together with the person you are speaking up for. Even without authority or positional power, you have innate power as an observer of interactions amongst peers. You can re-attribute a ‘stolen’ idea, for instance, by saying “Thank you Jason for expanding on Janet’s idea; Janet, as this was your suggestion, what do you think we should do next?” and you can say something when you notice microaggressions or inappropriate banter. I also think there is a role to play in starting conversations with other people of privilege. For example, asking if they notice the tightrope some colleagues seem to walk, in trying to be assertive enough without being seen as aggressive. What do you think?

Phil: Firstly, I really like the framing of allyship as a collaborative venture, to be done WITH others rather than TO or FOR others.  It moves away from what might otherwise be a disempowering victim-rescuer dynamic. So that’s really helpful positioning. Thank you.

What is clear from what you’ve said is that there’s a lot more to being an ally than simply saying, “I’m an ally”.  There are lots of men out there who proudly wear the ally “badge” for all to see – on LinkedIn or whatever – but I wonder whether their day-to-day actions really support the “badge”.   What’s your experience of that?

Sara: Yes, there is action attached to allyship. Otherwise, it’s only performative allyship, or as we refer to it at Voice At The Table, ‘window dressing’.

I’d say the key thing to do as an ally is to curiously learn about the barriers and issues underrepresented groups face, and then to advocate for them with others.  Becoming a better ally is an ongoing process. I almost gamify it for myself – this week, did I speak up in a moment where it would have been more comfortable to remain silent? Did I use inclusive language? Did I pay an opportunity forward?

Phil:  So being an effective ally starts with educating oneself about some of the things you’ve talked about, like micro-aggressions, bias, stereotypes, and inappropriate banter. And noticing inequalities we come across in our workplaces. And then finding ways of calling all of that out! That’s a lot! Where do I start?

Sara: I think the biggest step is the first time you speak up. I would suggest finding a safe space to practice, maybe with a colleague-friend who is a different gender / ethnicity / age / ability / sexual orientation, or attend D&I webinars and training events such as a Voice At The Table Taster Session (next one in February) or LIVE Q&A. Then remind yourself to look for a moment to act as an ally, every day for a week. We know habits take time to form, so practise often.

Imagine, if everyone reading this takes one small action of allyship in the next week, we will all be part of a movement towards a more inclusive workplace and society. I’ll let you know next week what action I took. Please hold me accountable!

Phil: I will. Please do the same for me!

Three simple things anyone can do to be a better ally:

  1. Take action.  Being an ally means more than just telling others you are; it requires action.  Identify what you’re going to do and make it happen.
  2. Advocate.  Get in the habit of speaking up on behalf of people when they are not in the room.
  3. Educate yourself. Commit to learning about what makes the workplace unequal, what are the common workplace biases and what biases do you personally have? Consider taking a self-assessment test, like the Harvard Implicit Association (IAT) test.
inclusive communication

Inclusive Communication: Communicating in a Global Context

By Rina Goldenberg Lynch

Have you ever discussed a project with someone from a different culture and found that you have both failed to communicate to each other what you had considered understood? If so, the issue might be one of high context vs low context cultural communications.
In this blog, I will explain the difference between the two and suggest a few guidelines to help bridge the difference in cross-cultural communications.

Understanding Cultural Differences: High vs Low Context Cultures
A high context culture uses more nuanced communication, with lots of inferences and unstated messages that are understood by others within that culture.  This style of communication is implicit and layered and expects the communicators to share a large set of shared reference points.  One might even go as far as saying that, in a high context culture, the meaning of unstated words is assumed, as if the other person knows exactly what we’re thinking rather than saying.  An example of this is Japan or Korea, where an outsider would find it difficult to communicate without a thorough understanding of the cultural context.

In contrast, in a low context culture, we assume very little additional context when we communicate and expect words to convey the entire meaning of the communication.    Language we use is explicit, simple and clear.  Choosing the ‘right’ words is essential to convey the intended messages, as is ensuring that the words are understood clearly.  An example of this culture is the USA and the Netherlands, where words are expected to be taken at face value.  This is also true of the UK, although it is slightly more ‘high context’ than the US or the Netherlands.

In a global team therefore, understanding the cultural context will ensure that cultural pitfalls are bridged.  I recommend using the following tips to ensure you fully understand those accustomed to communicating in a high context culture.

Useful Guidelines for Communicating in a High Context Culture

1. Observe and listen. If we are accustomed to communicating in a low context culture, we expect words to convey the intended message. Being more observant of body language and gestures when communicating with someone from a high context culture might make it easier to ascertain the message behind their words.  It is helpful to also listen more and to speak less, so you can understand the meaning behind others’ words. For instance, when they say “Yes, that’s an interesting idea!”, do they mean “Wow, sounds like a great opportunity!” or might they mean “No, that’s not going to work!”

2. Ask open-ended questions. Questions that start with words like how, what or why are more likely to lead to an explanation or reveal hidden intent will make it easier to understand the message. So instead of asking “Are you happy with this proposal?” you could try asking “How does this proposal sound to you?”

3. Watch out for warning signs.  The following phrases are good indications that a high context communicator may not be in full agreement:

  • “I guess so”
  • “I will do my best”
  • “I will think about it”
  • “It will be difficult but I’m going to give it a go”

Communication is tricky enough when we speak to someone from a very similar background to us.  Communicating with someone who comes from a completely different background is even more complex.  Applying your listening skills and being empathetic is therefore more important than ever and understanding some of the contextual communication rules will make it easier to ensure you’re on the same page as your partners and colleagues.

To find out more about communication in different culture, you may find Erin Meyer’s book The Culture Map of interest.

7 Tips for Creating Safe Spaces for Speaking Out

By Inge Woudstra

Today, I want to share 7 tips on how to create a space where people feel safe to share, as part of a meeting, training programme or workshop.  These tips will help to ensure that people feel encouraged not only to share but also to disagree and be disagreed with, and know it’s okay to get it wrong.

  1. Share an agenda upfront

Some people thrive thinking on their feet, while others prefer to have time to reflect and prepare. Sharing an agenda upfront allows people with either thinking style to feel comfortable.

  1. Agree on the purpose of the conversation or meeting

When people know the purpose, they find it easier to contribute. Examples of the purpose of a meeting could include: ‘gather ideas’, ‘explore the pros and cons of a wide range of options’ or ‘decide which action to take’. This can be included in the agenda, in the form of a question for each agenda item.  For instance, ‘What action should we take in order to achieve…? Discussion’.

  1. Set ground rules that encourage psychological safety

When we agree ground rules at the start of a meeting or conversation, we set expectations and keep lines of communication open. Effective ground rules help to build trust and a sense of safety among a group of participants.

Ground rules can be set by the meeting chair, or can be developed by the group. For example, the rules could include:

  • Listen to others, and refrain from side conversations
  • Respect others’ views; we all have the right to an opinion
  • Ask for clarification before sharing your opinion
  • Speak up when something is unclear or you would like more information
  • Be concise, to allow everyone time to speak
  • Keep an open mind and listen with curiosity
  • Feel free to share what has been said in this meeting, but don’t reveal the identity or the affiliation of the speaker(s), or that of any other participant (Chatham House Rule).

 

  1. Let people finish

When we give someone space to finish their thoughts, it allows them to fully develop their thinking. It also allows those listening to fully understand where someone is coming from. In contrast, when we interrupt someone we may miss a key insight or conclusion. Moreover, the speaker hasn’t been able to finish their train of thought and will then usually find it harder to listen to others, and may well feel disrespected or undervalued.

As a meeting chair, we would need to speak up when we hear someone isn’t allowed to finish. Last week we shared some tips on how to speak up in a respectful way.

  1. Appreciate contributions

Listen with curiosity and attention, as that gives people the feeling their contribution is appreciated. That in turn means they will be more likely to speak up and contribute next time. Even if we disagree with someone, or will not use their idea, we need to listen with curiosity and attention. Afterwards, we may acknowledge the fact the person has contributed, and let them know what will happen with their idea.

  1. Speak last

When we are in a position of authority, or have an informal position of influence, others will wait for our input and will be inclined to align their opinion with ours. Therefore, it’s important we are aware of our own position in a group and take care to speak last when possible.

  1. Encourage positivity

It’s easy to get stuck in negativity. When evaluating a situation or an idea, we tend to focus on what isn’t working. When listening to an idea, we often only see its downsides and why the idea may not work. If you notice this in meetings, unlock positive thinking by asking questions such as, ‘What is already working?’, ‘What could we do to solve this issue?’, ‘If we do this, what would we need to do to make it work?’ or ‘What is already going well?’

Following these tips will make it easier for people to open up and to contribute with their inner thoughts, without fear of repercussions. They will therefore facilitate an inclusive environment where everyone can speak out, and the group will benefit from a wider range of contributions.

If you are looking to learn more about creating safe spaces for your team, why not contact us for a no-obligation chat?

 

Speaking Up with Care and Respect

By Inge Woudstra

To develop an inclusive culture, it is important to speak up when something happens that is inconsistent with the values of our organisation. And it’s not just leaders who need to speak up, but everyone in the team. An inclusive culture doesn’t just come from leaders; inclusion is something in which every single team member has a role to play.

Speaking up isn’t easy. We hesitate to speak up if we perceive it to be risky to our image or reputation or our career progression. We might worry about the consequences, we fear it might damage our working relationships or ruin our career. We can be anxious that others might judge us and we might lose the support of our colleagues.

No wonder. Social relationships are vital for human beings. In fact, the distress caused when a social bond is threatened activates the same brain circuits related to physical pain. We even feel this when we see someone else experience it, as more fully explained in this article: The Pain of Social Exclusion – Science Daily. 

What we can learn from this is that although it’s important to speak up, it’s important to speak up with care and sensitivity, in a way that protects relationships. That is, to speak up in a way that is diplomatic and respectful of others.

In our workshops on Inclusive Behaviours, we work on how people might do this in a number of scenarios. In one example, we ask what a team member might do when, for instance, a woman is interrupted in a meeting. We know that women are typically interrupted 3x more often than men, (and not just by men) and this is something we can address relatively easily, with respect and sensitivity.

So what could we say or do? Here are two of the suggestions offered up in our workshops and their relative merits:

1.     Scenario A“Put up your hand and say, ‘Sorry Richard, Samira was speaking, could you please let her finish?’”

While this gets the job done, this suggestion has the potential effect of embarrassing Richard in public for something that he may not have done intentionally, or perhaps even consciously. For this reason, it is not an ideal approach. Moreover, when we interrupt Richard, we are making the same mistake he made.

2.     Scenario B

“Wait until Richard has finished making his point and then say, ‘Thank you Richard, great point. Now I would like to hear from Samira as she was still making a point.’”

This way you do speak up for Samira, but just as with the first suggestion, Richard is likely to feel put in his place. This may seem deserved and feel right to some, but now Richard may feel excluded and may be resentful.

So we need to find a way that allows Samira to speak, yet is still respectful of Richard and his feelings. We could, for example, wait until Richard has made his point and then say, ‘Thank you Richard, that was a valuable contribution. Samira, I think you also wanted to say something.’This way, Richard feels heard and Samira has a chance to share her ideas too. This respectful and diplomatic approach also sends a message to everyone else in the team that all perspectives are welcome and valued.

It’s important to ensure people don’t feel embarrassed but valued and respected when we call out their behaviours. We must acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes, even those of us who feel we’re inclusive and considerate. We ought to avoid making people feel blamed or ostracised, like some men might feel as this Forbes article suggests.

Are you working to develop an inclusive culture, and would you also like your teams to behave more inclusively? Do get in touch to discuss how we might be able to help.

Connecting Psychological Safety and Inclusion

By Rina Goldenberg Lynch

Speaking out is of course the act of saying what needs saying in the workplace, however unpopular.  But anyone who has had the desire to say the ‘right thing’ and bottled it will know that to call out something or someone is not so easy when it feels like there might be repercussions for one’s career.  I have recently witnessed this in a heavily male-dominated group, when women shied away from expressing their honest opinions, even when prodded.

Yet as team leaders, we want to hear from everyone, even if their contribution might sometimes be uncomfortable.  The trade-off is that when we ensure everyone feels comfortable to speak their mind, we will be the beneficiaries of valuable nuggets of information that might not be disclosed if people feel that not all their contributions will be welcomed.  If we have to play a game of roulette with our contributions, the chances are we will opt not to play.

So how do we ensure people feel encouraged and welcomed to state their opinions at all times?

Psychological Safety

The answer is psychological safety.  A concept introduced to us by Professor Amy Edmundson of Harvard University, psychological safety is an environment conducive to speaking up about one’s mistakes and concerns as much as one speaks up with new ideas and questions.  The ‘safety’ element arises when people believe that they will not be penalised or humiliated for this contribution.

The elements of psychological safety

Amy argues that, in order to create psychological safety, we need to do 3 things:

  1. Framing

Framing requires each (team) leader to reframe the idea of reporting mistakes or ‘failure’, as an integral part of the job.  Bringing up mistakes should be seen as an opportunity to improve the service, not evidence of incompetence.  Even in high stakes jobs like medicine, it’s important to acknowledge that mistakes are going to be made, and that, if we ignore them or try to sweep them under the rug, we will not learn from them.  This will increase the likelihood of more of the same or similar mistakes being made instead of reducing them.   Framing focuses on the purpose of the service – let’s say saving people’s lives – and owning and speaking up serves this purpose well.

  1. Inviting challenge and contribution

Once we’ve (re)framed how we see contributions – positive and negative – it’s important to start asking for them.  The team leader can, for instance, openly invite team members to challenge his or her views, enquire into their reasons for thinking a certain way and ask for a number of different perspectives.  It’s important to allow for some conflict to arise, always reminding the team that the aim of the conversation is to serve the purpose of the service (e.g. to save lives), so a little bit of friction is a small price to pay for a better discussion and result.  One way to deal with the creation of friction is to ensure everyone can respect everyone else’s right to have their own opinion and to voice that opinion.  It’s also important to convey that there is no expectation of consensus – not everyone is going to agree, and that’s OK.  What’s important is that everyone feels free to speak up.

  1. Productive Response

Of course, once people do start to speak up and to own up to mistakes, leaders will need to know how to respond.  Responses must not be punitive; they should be productive.  Thanking the person for their courageous and honest contribution, the next step might be to discuss what can be done to correct the mistake and/or ensure it does not happen again.  In other words, how can we make the mistake work for us and serve the purpose we’re aiming for?  If we talk about medicine again, while some mistakes can be fatal, by learning from them, we can ensure that other people’s lives are saved by not repeating the error.

What it is not

It’s important to ensure that people also understand that psychological safety isn’t the same as being nice, or that all ideas and contributions will be commended.  It’s also not an excuse to complain or slack off, or to create intentional conflict.  Psychological safety is designed to create an environment that is conducive to strong team performance and, for this reason, must co-exist with other high standards for performance, such as hard work and commitment.

To conclude, psychological safety is essential for the creation of an inclusive environment in which people feel that they can take interpersonal risks.  Managers who embrace our 8 Inclusive Behaviours and aspire to improve in each one are most likely to lead psychologically safe teams that are also strong performers.

 

An Inclusive Leader’s Mantra

By Rina Goldenberg Lynch

In exploring our Inclusive Behaviours(SM), so far we’ve worked on the following areas:
  • exercising our empathy muscle so we can better understand those who are different from us
  • being a better listener to invite the contribution of different perspectives
  • being aware of and mitigating our own biases in the workplace so that we can be more meritocratic
  • understanding our personal values so that we might understand the values of others
  • being  humble and vulnerable in order to create a trusting bond with others in our teams
  • valuing their different perspectives even if they are vastly different from ours
  • using inclusive language so that others can begin to feel a sense of belonging.

Now that we know what to do and how to do it, it’s time to invite others to follow suit by speaking out.

This responsibility falls first and foremost on leaders.  Team and other leaders set the tone for culture; what they say goes – even if they don’t realise it. As Simon Sinek has said, when a leader speaks, a whisper becomes a shout.  The words leaders use and the things they do have a massive impact on whether others take Diversity and Inclusion seriously or see it as just a box ticking exercise.

I want to share with you a few themes that each leader should be addressing on a regular basis in the workplace:

 1.    It IS broken!

Managers often hear from others (and sometimes think themselves) that their businesses and teams are doing well, that there is no need to fix what’s not broken.

Of course, it would be fine to believe this if things were to remain static.  But we know that organisations and society are evolving and changing at an unprecedented pace.

Just think about these examples:

  • 5 generations in the workplace
  • a smaller and closer world than we’ve ever had
  • an over-abundance of information at every person’s fingertips
  • complex political, economic and legal environments that make transactions enormously complex
  • a change in how society perceives work and life
  • a large and highly educated workforce emerging from India and China.

This level of change requires teams that are prepared to embrace unpredictability and global trends.  Are you sure your team is ready?  Do you have the relevant diversity to address unpredictable and quickly moving challenges?
The team might not be broken, but it isn’t fixed either.  It almost certainly needs more diversity and more inclusion, so it can be better prepared for the future.  Can you afford to stay static and do nothing?

2.    It is hard! But what worthwhile quest isn’t?

Another common theme leaders will hear is that Diversity and Inclusion is too hard!  It requires so many changes on how we behave, how we work with each other, how our processes work.  In some cases, even the very business model doesn’t lend itself to greater diversity and inclusion.

It’s difficult to argue with this.  That said, what leaders should remind themselves and others of is the fact that many business changes are hard, like a new computer infrastructure or a reorganisation, an acquisition or divestment of a business.  Yet the fact that these things are hard to achieve were never good enough reasons to abandon a worthwhile change.

Just like any other important – one might even say, game changing – venture, Diversity and Inclusion cannot be set aside on the basis that it is difficult to implement, or that it requires sacrifice and change that our workers are simply not prepared for.  It’s up to the leadership to set the tone for this change and ensure that everyone gets behind it if that’s the right direction of travel for the organisation.

3.    There are more advocates and champions for D&I among us than there are nay-sayers and  detractors.

Let’s face it.  We humans like to focus on the negative.  No matter how many compliments we receive, if there’s one negative statement among them, that’s the statement we will dwell on for hours, even days.  Our brains are wired to focus on the negative more than the positive – it’s one of our many cognitive biases.  This is also true when it comes to hearing negative views about Diversity and Inclusion.  But the reality is, when we look at the entire population of our workforce, we notice that the nay-sayers are lone voices these days.  and statistically speaking, we expect 15%-20% of the population to disagree with any change management proposition!

If we focus on this small minority, we can be derailed and distracted from our purpose and mission.  Therefore, as leaders, we must focus on the other 80% that still needs us to show them how to do this right, to believe in us and see us clear the way for greater diversity and inclusion.   We also need to make it clear to our peers and colleagues that the group of people who speaks out against the change is marginal; that most people understand and want to embrace this change and that, perhaps when they see others embrace it, the negative minority might engage with it too.  But, irrespective of that, the change and the journey must go on.  We cannot hide from the future, and the future demands a different approach to humanity and to business.

It’s important for leaders to advocate on behalf of Diversity and Inclusion frequently and regularly.  Leaders need to be able to communicate the business priority of Diversity and Inclusion in the same way as they would communicate a new strategy or mission. Without this mantra, D&I strategy will not succeed.

It goes without saying that leaders must first understand all this and know what to say, when to say it and how to address cynicism and objections.  These are important aspects of any good D&I strategy.  Have you been speaking to your fellow leaders about it?

 

Time to Act. The Power of Now

By Inge Woudstra

To know what you can do, you need to know what inclusion is, and what it looks like. That way you can start behaving more inclusively.

Our Inclusive behaviours℠ theme this month has been Use of Language, and we generally find that the language around inclusion itself and what it looks like can be very confusing for people.

Those passionate about and those working on diversity and inclusion think it’s all clear. In reality, when we work with clients, we find it’s anything but. Only recently, I was working with an executive team, and each team member shared what they thought inclusion was. Answers included: fairness, making people feel welcome, no discrimination when recruiting, recruiting the best talent, celebrating a range of holidays, not working in silos, non-hierarchical working, making sure all can contribute freely, and looking after people’s mental health.

So today to help you start acting on inclusion, we would like to share with you what real inclusion means, where you can start and what to watch out for when you start acting so you can use the power of now to create real inclusion.

What does real inclusion mean?
When we talk about Diversity we mean diversity of thought; making sure that you have a wide range of perspectives around the table. Inclusion is tapping into that diversity on your team. That means you want everyone in the team to contribute their thoughts, so that you hear a wide range of perspectives. People only share those thoughts when they feel safe. They share their ideas when they know they will not be dismissed because they are the youngest, happen to be female, or speak with a different accent.

In other words, as Verna Myers says, “Diversity is being asked to the party, Inclusion is being asked to dance®”.   And remember, people will only say yes to joining you on the dance floor if they know others will not laugh at them, regardless of their dance moves. Looking at inclusion like this shows that inclusion is something everyone in your team needs to do.

Where to start with inclusion? 
Because everyone in the team needs to act inclusively, when we work with clients we start at the top. People learn about behaviour and what is and isn’t acceptable by looking at their leaders. When leaders behave more inclusively and speak up about behaviour that could be more inclusive, others follow suit. So, the executive team needs to know what inclusion looks like and what they can do to role model inclusion. That’s where you need to start.

What to watch out for when we start with inclusion? 
When we start working with the executive team, we start where they are. This is often hard for those championing diversity and inclusion, in HR and D&I teams and in ERGs. The executive team is usually just starting on the journey, and they might have some catching up to do. This can easily lead to unhelpful conversations, and those are the ones we need to watch out for.
Let me give you a few examples from our workshops, so you can avoid the mistakes others have made.
Recently, a male senior leader said, ‘I see women feel undervalued and unseen, but really, they should just learn to blow their own trumpet more and put themselves forward’. The women in the room audibly sighed and rolled their eyes. The senior leader felt dismissed, and still didn’t understand the issue. He was a few steps behind the others.  So we helped him and others understand, by sharing stories and examples of common biases in the workplace and how they contribute to women feeling undervalued and unseen.

Another white, male senior leader said, ‘I feel uncomfortable about this topic, as there doesn’t seem to be space for men anymore’. The HR partner, who is a woman of an ethnic minority background, dismissed this remark out of hand. After that, the senior leader felt uncomfortable to contribute to the conversation. I therefore pointed out that being inclusive means welcoming all perspectives, even if one disagrees with them. Once I carefully made this point in the workshop, the conversation opened up again and we had the chance to openly talk about the journey each one of us is on.

Yes, people may have a point of view that is vastly different from ours, but it’s vital we include them on our journey and take them along with us.

It’s time to act! Now is the time to start working with the executive team. And if that’s not within your power, then start by being aware of how inclusive you are in your own conversations. Are you open to those who disagree with you on inclusion? Do you take the time to listen, truly listen, to those who aren’t as far along on the journey as you are? Listen to them, because they may well have a valid perspective and you can use your insight into that perspective to help them understand the need to be more inclusive. After all, only by listening to everyone’s point of view are we ourselves being truly inclusive.

 

use of language - 2 silhouette heads surrounded by coloured question marks

One Language. Two Standards

By Rina Goldenberg Lynch

Ever think about whether we talk to men and women in the same way – at least when we intend to?

This month, we’re exploring Use of Language, the 7th of our 8 Inclusive Behaviours(SM).   Today, I want to share some research that shows how, even when we believe we’re being meritocratic, our words betray us:  what we say to (or about) women tends to be something very different to what we say to (or about) men.

As the renowned American psychologist and linguist Noam Chomsky said: The structure of language determines not only thought but reality itself.   Meaning, the words we use don’t just betray our thinking, they also shape reality around us.

What we say in performance evaluations
Research has shown us over and over that the way we evaluate the performance of women (and other members of underrepresented groups) differs significantly from the way we evaluate the performance of men.  For instance, men tend to be assessed on potential whereas women’s experience appears to outweigh potential.  As an example, we might say in a man’s performance appraisal:  He hasn’t had the opportunity to experience this role, but we are confident that he has all the capability to succeed.  In contrast, evaluating the performance of a woman, we might say: She has not had the opportunity to get any real experience, and so it is a gamble to put her in that role.

Similarly, when it comes to judging people’s mistakes, countless performance evaluations show that people of colour are nearly twice as likely to have a previous mistake mentioned in the assessment than white people.  And we know it’s not because they make twice as many mistakes.

As a result, women (and members of other underrepresented groups) tend to fall behind when it comes to career advancement and compensation.

What we say to our female entrepreneurs
Another well-documented divide is how we think about women who run businesses.  As this HBR article shows, the different way we think about women and men running businesses is betrayed by the words we use to describe their capabilities.

A hidden recording of conversations within Venture Capital (VC) firms reveals that female entrepreneurs are perceived as less credible, less trustworthy, less experienced and less knowledgeable.

When describing an average male entrepreneur, the following sentiments were captured:

  • young and promising
  • arrogant but very impressive
  • aggressive but a really good entrepreneur
In contrast, the average female entrepreneur was described in these terms:
  • young and inexperienced
  • lacks network contacts and in need of help to develop her business concept
  • enthusiastic but weak
In other words, the language that accompanied the description of female entrepreneurs was peppered with negative assessments of attributes that were seemingly the same in both genders.  These biased views had a direct impact on how capital was invested, with female owners in this case receiving less than 18% of the available funds.

These two examples show how our societal biases are reflected in the language we use.  The good news about this is that although language can propagate bias, it can also help us to uncover it and flush it out.  By recording assessments, we are able to uncover these biases and right the wrong they do.

The first step to building more meritocratic systems is uncovering the bias within them – and words are extremely helpful in doing so.