Voice At The Table

Yesterday I played tennis with a woman I hadn’t met before. She told me she was a mathematics professor at a local university. When she asked me what I did, and I said, “I work with companies to make them friendlier for women” she said, “Oh boy, do we need your help”. If I had a penny for every time I heard that phrase, I’d be retired somewhere on a beach by now.

Yes, I know, there’s no shortage of women wanting me to go into their companies to make them “see the light” – and yet, as the recent gender pay gap reports confirm – progress on this front is abysmally slow.

Gender parity is a conundrum I agonise over frequently. Why is something that seems so reasonable, even logical, so difficult to crack? I know so many women who are keen for things to change, and so many men who support these aspirations. Yet, for each one person who wants gender parity to become a reality, there are five or 10 others (men and women, I hasten to add) who vehemently disagree with the notion that women don’t already have it all, at least here in the UK and other Western cultures.

Much of the problem is that people continue to be unaware of gender biases around us at work and in our personal lives. Having been immersed in diversity and inclusion work for nearly five years, I see things now that others tend to miss; for example, I was out with friends recently, all married couples, except for one woman who is recently divorced. One husband benevolently suggested that they pick up the divorcee’s part of the bill, since she does not have a “proper”’ job and is ”scraping” to get by with two children. As noble and well-intentioned a gesture as that may have been, the underlying assumption, that a woman needs a man to pay for her, had not escaped me. Most importantly, would he have done the same for a male divorcee? I dare say not.

What is the point of all this ranting? It’s simply that society is blind to the fact that we have two different standards we happily apply to men and women (by men and women!). So, it’s not surprising that we can’t crack this dilemma at work. Gender bias is so ingrained in us, and is largely so invisible that it will take years to unpack all its nuances to see it when it stares us right in the face. I believe that pointing it out – while anecdotally mildly entertaining – is not going to change behaviours and perceptions overall. We need to start bucking the trend of societal roles and expectations of men and women. Let’s make it acceptable for men and women equally to work flexibly and to share child-caring responsibilities at home. Let’s make it attractive for women to invest and care about their wealth and financial well-being. Let’s make it second nature for boys to wear pink and girls to wear blue – or any other colour of the rainbow. Let’s make it as normal for men to bond over wine and conversation as it is for them to attend football games together and get drunk in the pub afterwards. And let’s make companies less of a stronghold of the extroverted, smooth-talking, confident leader and more of a platform for collaboration, inspiration, emotional intelligence and innovation. While we may not be able to root out our deeply ingrained gender biases, we may be able to wipe them out through changes in behaviour norms.

The term “office politics” is often equated with negative behaviour like “backstabbing”, spreading malicious rumours, and “sucking up” to the right people. Love it or loathe it, “office politics” is a fact of life in any organisation. Practising “positive” politics enables you to further yours and your team’s interests fairly and appropriately, while achieving greater productivity and building more trust; being alert to ”negative” politics helps you to avoid becoming a victim while others take advantage.

We introduce 10 key points to consider in relation to “office politics” to help you navigate it positively; opting out of it will only hinder your career progression.

1. There is no escaping the fact that politics exists wherever there are people, due to differing values, motivations and contexts.
2. Frequently junior staff don’t yet realise that politics exist.
3. Negative office politics can have profound negative consequences for both organisations and individuals.
4. Office politics can be positive, leading to greater organisational cohesion, speedier decision making, increased trust and action.
5. It is often seen as the informal way missions are accomplished and decisions are made.
6. It’s really about why you think someone is doing something, rather than simply what they are doing ie. the context.
7. Beliefs shape behaviour which influences other people’s behaviour, which reinforces beliefs.
8. Context is everything, we may think we are apolitical but that’s because we know our motives.
9. Everyone is a political “animal” of sorts; this is a simplistic way of thinking about it – fox, owl, mule and sheep.
10. Four key skill areas provide a focus for developing increased political intelligence: communication, networking, influencing and – anything else that falls outside of these categories – something termed “factor X”.

by Melissa Jackson

After recently returning from a spring break in Seville, where temperatures were about 10C higher than the UK, I’m now ready for warmer days to beat a path to our more northerly latitude.

We were an all-ladies group on a whistle-stop weekender, determined to soak up all that this culturally-rich city had to offer.

Our hotel was a (succulent pitted olive) stone’s throw from the main attractions; my room-mate was my friend, Bridget, who championed the art of power-napping throughout the day, only to fall into deep and protracted slumbers when her head rested on the soft, fluffy pillow at night.

Former lawyer and mother-of-three, Bridget, in synchronicity with her name, is passionate about a certain card game and has set-up an adult “teaching facility” in her home. It is my firm belief that she is attempting to convert the whole of north London (and beyond) to the mind-grindingly challenging game of Bridge.

On Sunday morning she announced that her deep and Sangria-induced dreams had been rudely broken by a sudden fear that she had not sufficiently planned next week’s lessons for her battle-hungry students. Had the stress chipped away at her passion, I wondered? Not at all, as by now (around 9am) everything was under control.

I am informed that the majority of Bridget’s pupils are women, although a few husbands, not wishing to miss a trick (sorry!) are starting to try their hand (apologies again!) at learning a new skill.

Globally, more women than men play Bridge, so why I, wanted to know, is there a gender-divide when it comes to top-level players?

Men dominate at the highest level; according to the World Bridge Federation’s (WBF) ranking, only two of the world’s top 22 players are women.

However, we may be missing a key piece of the puzzle: how many women actually play high-level Bridge in the first place? Many talented female Bridge players appear to shy away from entering its orbit. Could it be that women just aren’t encouraged to play at the top-tier?

Experienced Bridge player Miriam Harris-Botzum asserts that, “There are some women who are capable of being top experts, but those few currently don’t make it to the top. Some because of non-Bridge concerns; however, those who do devote their full energy to Bridge aren’t given the support and encouragement and opportunities that advancing male players attract and aren’t afforded opportunities to break into the all-male teams.

“It becomes a vicious cycle, because good women players are generally shunted into women’s Bridge, instead of the open games, but having separate women’s Bridge promotes the view that women are inferior players.”

The differences between male and female brains as they relate to Bridge have been extensively debated and it’s known that men and women approach the game differently. Men, for example, tend to have stronger left-brain and mathematical skills (on average) than women, which can help their play. It is also suggested that men succeed because they are inherently more aggressive and willing to take risks.

According to prolific Bridge writer Alfred Sheinwold, women are more successful than men at all other levels of Bridge… so wouldn’t it be rewarding to see the tables turned and more women starting to play at high level?

I believe this is Bridget’s long-term goal. She is encouraging women to push themselves, recognise their potential, take risks and play the game on a par with men.

My hope is that in a few years’ time, she and her talented female pupils defy current trends and come up trumps in the world rankings.

Do you want to feel better equipped to converse more effectively with your boss and your work colleagues? Discover how to unlock your inner potential and master the art of emotional intelligence.

Here are six suggestions:

1. Manage your own emotions; reduce negative thoughts so that they don’t overwhelm you and affect your judgement.
2. Keep your cool under pressure to reduce your stress levels. How we handle stressful situations can make the difference between being assertive and being reactive.
3. Express difficult emotions when necessary; it is important to set our boundaries appropriately, so that people know where we stand, using phrases like: “I feel strongly” or “I feel uncomfortable” or “I feel disappointed”.
4. Stay proactive, not reactive in the face of a difficult person; before you say something, you might later regret, take a deep breath, count slowly to 10 and use the time to work out a better way to communicate the issue.
5. Bounce back from adversity; how we think, feel and act in challenging situations can make the difference between hope and despair, optimism and frustration, victory and defeat.
6. Know your strengths and weaknesses; focusing on your strengths helps you make choices in life, while over-focusing on areas of weakness could prevent you from getting the most out of life.

By Melissa Jackson

The Oscars are just around the corner; the ritual “glamour fest” laden with teary acceptance speeches and gushing outpourings of love and gratitude on an epic scale.

The Academy Awards Ceremony – now in its 91^st year – is revered as the glittering barometer of success in Hollywood and beyond. That means 90+ years of plaudits and presentations; 90+ opportunities, I assumed, for women to be recognised for their excellence and skills, not only in front of the camera, but behind… namely in film direction. I was wrong, by a golden mile.

In its 91-year-history, the Best Director award has been snapped up by men 89 times. The only female to break the mould and raise hopes of levelling the playing field, was Kathryn Bigelow, who received a coveted golden statuette in 2010 for The Hurt Locker.

I had overlooked a recurring theme… the film industry has been dominated by men, especially in the elite “big budget” movie stratosphere and the Best Director category reinforces this by a huge margin.

The depressing reality is that over nine decades, you can count on one hand the number of women who have been nominated for the Best Director Oscar. Despite increasing numbers of women directing films, they are still woefully under-represented.

Writing in Variety magazine, Kristopher Tapley, suggests that films directed by women don’t get the same promotional push from studios during awards season.

This year, not a single woman is nominated in the Best Picture or Best Director categories.

This unpalatable disparity is “immensely disappointing”, according to Liz Tucker, chair of Women in Film and Television UK. She concedes that how people get nominated is a deeply political process, and it can still be a bit of an old boys’ network.

“It seems difficult to believe that, on merit, only five women have ever been in that Best Director category,” said Ms Tucker.

“We’re not asking for special favours here. One’s not disputing the (best picture nominees) are all great films, but are they the best films?”

In 2018, women comprised 20% of all directors, writers, producers, executive producers, editors, and cinematographers working on the top 250 domestic grossing films in the US, according to research by The Celluloid Ceiling, a respected body that has tracked women’s employment on top grossing films for the last 21 years. Don’t be too disheartened as this represents an increase of two percentage points; up from 18% in 2017.

Another hint of change, that the Oscars PR machine boldly trumpeted in the run-up to the gala, is that 2019 sees the largest class of female nominees, across the board, in Oscar history. Fanfare please!

Oscars President John Bailey nailed it when he said: “Of course we need to do better. Gender parity is an industry matter, not just an Academy matter.”

For me personally, the gender imbalance is a reminder of the steep (Hollywood) hill left to climb to close the gender inequality gap.

Of course, I’ll still be glued to my small screen on Oscars night, watching the string of elaboratetly attired female and male celebrities parading in all their finery at this irresistibly seductive, talent-rich occasion.

However, I may find myself reciting some unscripted one-liners and firing them at my tv, just to get a few grievances off my chest!

Microaggressions are those indiscreet comments made unconsciously by work colleagues, which can have a huge impact on an employee’s psyche and consequently their overall job satisfaction.

They are the small slights, indignities, put-downs and insults – usually associated with race, sexuality or gender – that minorities experience in their interactions with well-intentioned individuals who are unaware that they have engaged in an offensive act or made an offensive statement.

So how can organisations take the initiative to prevent this detrimental bias and make the working environment a more comfortable place for everyone?

Here are 10 ways an organisation can raise awareness of and prevent microaggressions.

1. Educate internal stakeholders about what their customers/clients expect to see as appropriate behaviour within the organisation.
2. Create handbooks, case studies and scenarios to launch an internal dialogue and raise awareness of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.
3. Raise leader awareness of unacceptable behaviour e.g. through “tell me anything” sessions.
4. Encourage leaders to share their personal stories about microaggressions and how awareness of such and behavioural change can lead to positive results.
5. Tie the need for behavioural change against microaggressions to the bottom line.
6. Create a safe space for people to share microaggressions (beyond HR), an inclusive environment where people feel safe to speak out and an environment that is willing to listen. For example: help employees connect with those who share their experience so that they can build allies and create a network. A network of allies can have more impact than one person speaking out.
7. Encourage employees to take individual responsibility for calling out microaggressions and create an environment where it is safe for them to share their experience with others.
8. Create a “Charter of Acceptable Behaviour” within the organisation that includes “microaggressive behaviour”.
9. Utilise employee networks and give them more of a voice to help educate the employee population.
10. Link behaviour change to Key Performance Indicators, e.g. reward employees for calling out microaggressions.